Well if the Decider is getting his ass scoped tomorrow, then I know what he's doing tonight. He's sitting on the Camp David shitter, emptying his colon of any obstructions. Sort of like disposing with obstructions of justice, except using his ass instead of a pardon.
See, I had my first colonoscopy last year. As everyone else who's had one will tell you, the procedure itself is a breeze. (OK, a methane breeze, but still.) They even give you amnesia medicine so you forget the whole damn thing.
No, the bad part is the DAY BEFORE your colonoscopy. That's when you get to experience the unbound joy of medically-induced diarrhea. Because the doctor, in his or her role as an impartial judge of your ass, must get a clear view of the "facts before the court." For example, if he tries to look up your ass and his view is blocked by Scooter Libby, then that is an obstruction.
(continued down the backside)
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