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View Diary: Reading the Constitution is hard, if you're a teabagger (246 comments)

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  •  "Discovered"? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    mkor7, Janet 707, jayden

    Maybe they found it written on the back of the Constitution.

    Or was that the Declaration of Independence?

    •  No. You don't understand. (6+ / 0-)

      It's an Opus Liberalis conspiracy - The Declaration of Independence and Constitution contain certain secret keys that serve as the combination to unlocking the true documents and intent of the founders.  It's rumored that the one and only true article of founding principles is entombed somewhere on the hallowed grounds of Monticello, and that the forgeries at the National Archives (if the hermetically sealed enclosures could be broken) would reveal the location of the true articles.

      Actual access to the articles is a different thing altogether.  There is a particular code sequence in James Buchannan's inaugural address that will actually open the vault, once located.  The thing is, if someone doesn't get the code sequence right on the first attempt, pre-set triggers destroy the planet.

      It's a touchy situation all around, but in the bowels of Wingnuttia headquarters, the best minds of conservative intelligentsia are working 24X7 to develop workarounds and contingency plans.

      "Mitt who? That's an odd name. Like an oven mitt, you mean? Oh, yeah, I've got one of those. Used it at the Atlas Society BBQ last summer when I was flipping ribs."

      by Richard Cranium on Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 12:33:58 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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