I am a long-time lurker here, but I’m now coming out of the kicking back and reading mode to post my first diary ever, because this issue of black people and race in America is just bubbling up inside of me. I must speak out now and share my personal experience.
First, let me just say that I am very open minded when it comes to accepting people of all colors and creeds. I grew up in, and currently living in a majority white city in upstate New York. I am of Barack Obama’s generation – Generation Jones.
A little about my dad
My dad was born in the early 1920’s into Jim Crowism down south. Growing up in New Orleans, he experienced the daily grind of explicit racism against people who looked like him. However, he had a close family unit that taught him good values and how to survive by respecting the laws for blacks: Know Your Place.
My dad dealt with segregated schools, shops, and limited opportunities for blacks to achieve in society. He told me how he had to look down at the ground and step aside when a white woman approached him on the sidewalk, less he be deemed as being "disrespectful".
He dealt with being the darker skinned sibling in his family, when being really dark was supposed to make you less valuable than those with lighter skin. His mother was a quarter Native American and "looked like a white woman" according to my dad. She had light skin and long, straight hair. In reality, she never saw herself as anything but a black woman, but skin tone was a big thing in his day.
When WWII came along, he eagerly joined the military and went to serve his country. This was typical for many black men of his generation. The military was segregated at that time, but he didn’t let that bother him. He became a man during this time and his worldview opened up. When he got out of the service, he returned to the deep south – and that old Jim Crow way of life. His family had relocated to Mississippi while he was gone.
Like many other young black men of his generation, he could no longer tolerate living under this kind of oppression. The last straw was when two of his younger brothers (one just 14 years old) were beaten, arrested and jailed for not respecting their place when confronted by a police officer. While on their way to the movies, the older of the two had gotten angry at being treated meanly by the cop and he talked back. This was cause enough to get beaten and jailed in the old south.
My dad went down to the station with his mother to get them out. He was angered when they called his beloved mother "Annie" - a generic name that was insulting to black women. You see, they wouldn’t give her the respect of calling her by her real name. He was angered when he saw his two brothers black and blue and behind bars.
After this incident, the family decided it was time to move up north. My dad was the first to make the move and soon brought the rest of the family to New York State. Did this end his experience with segregation and racism? Unfortunately, no, but it was way more tolerable than what he’d been used to.
As a young man he dreamed of having a career as an airplane mechanic. He wrote a letter to some company asking how he could prepare himself to enter this field. The company wrote back that they were sorry, but this profession was not open to blacks. Dad was very disheartened by this (and probably angered too).
No matter what slights or disappointments he experienced over the years, he always held his head up high and respected the laws of society. He was very responsible and prided himself in having a strong work ethic. He held several blue collar jobs and was well liked and appreciated in all of them. He got along great with his white friends and coworkers.
He was a self-taught artist and painted many portraits of people, including a few distinguished white gentlemen.
When I came along, he became a doting father and we were very close. I loved his sense of humor, his personal style and that twinkle in his eye. Never heard anyone say a bad word about him.
His feelings on race
When I was a young teen, my dad and I were having a casual discussion about some issue that happened in the news and he blurted out "blue eyed devil". Having read some about Malcom X, I knew where this phrase came from, but was surprised to hear my good-natured dad saying it. I remember it sounded kind of harsh, but then he gave it context by explaining that many years ago, he’d gone to see Malcolm X speak when he came to our town.
While dad wasn’t a radical, he agreed with the general theme of what Malcolm was saying. I also think he identified with the underlying anger as well. Occasionally, dad would use this phrase when he was upset with something white folks had done to black people. I also knew that he would never say this in front of white people. He would never show his private hurt and anger to them.
Does the fact that my dad used the term "blue-eyed devil" make him a racist? No. He didn’t go around saying hateful things about white people and teaching me to hate them.
Does it make him a raving maniac? No. He was quite sane and very nice, actually.
Does it make him anti-white? No. He got along fine with white friends, neighbors and coworkers.
It was a phrase that captured the sense of anger and injustice he was feeling at that particular moment.
He had served his country, worked hard, treated all people with respect and was a law abiding citizen, yet, he felt that black people would never get a fair shake in this country. The white man was always gonna keep us down – whether by use of unfair laws, a rigged system, or violence.
My feelings on race
Like I said earlier, I’m pretty open when it comes to people of different races and backgrounds. I’ve made friends with whites, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, etc. Personality and values matter more to me than someone’s skin color.
That being said, I’ve seen and experienced tension between blacks and whites over name calling, perceived slights and cultural ignorance. Sometimes fights broke out, but things always blew over.
I’ve been called a N....g on several occasions by jackasses driving by or walking down the street. I used to react angrily, but learned to just laugh at them as the ignorant cowards they are. My true white friends would never say such things or act that way towards me.
Yet, even I realize that my white friends don’t know how much I’ve been hurt and angered over the racially tinged incidents that have happened in my own lifetime, or ones I learned about from reading our history. They don’t know because we never talk about it.
I don’t care if you are conservative, or the most liberal white person on earth. If you are living in America in 2008, you have benefited in some way from 200 years of institutionalized racism. Yes, it is REAL and you need to accept it. It’s a fundamental TRUTH that will not die or just go away because you listen to black music, have black friends, or are married to a black person.
Some of you have no idea of what it’s like to be a black person in America, but it’s time that you learned. It’s time for black people to open up and let you see the side of us that we keep hidden. Yes, we black folks can hang out with you, like you a lot and even love you deeply.
BUT . . . we also feel hurt, pain, frustration and anger towards your system of institutionalized racism in this country.
There are no more segregated lunch counters, but there are daily slights that people of color have to endure.
And some attitudes like . . .
We’re not responsible for what happened in the past (even though whites in this country have inherited a huge social and economic benefit from free slave labor and Jim Crow law – we’ve only had a mere 30 years to catch up)
Black people want special treatment (no, we don’t, we just want society to remove the unfair roadblocks that make it twice as hard for us to achieve anything than whites)
Angry black people don’t like white people (bull, we have a right to be angry and express that anger, but the broader issue is, why are whites so afraid of our anger?)
Why do black people keep going on and on about race – geez. (um, because no matter how much we would love not to keep dealing with it, the issue keeps hitting us in the face)
We should all get along and forget about race (not realistic, we should embrace and appreciate each others racial and cultural differences, this only happens when we are willing to open up and get to know each other)
So now we are at a moment in America’s history where we are dealing with two sides of the same coin:
Black Anger/Frustration
White Guilt/Denial
Are we willing to deal with this issue now for the benefit of the country as a whole?
Are both sides finally willing to open up and be HONEST with each other about our true feelings, and stop keeping them hidden?
I hope so.
Like I said, I’m of Obama’s generation. We know that we benefited from the struggles of men like Rev. Wright and my dad.
Did I disown and denounce my dad because he uttered those offensive words? No.
But I understood where he was coming from.
I also didn’t turn against my white friends because of his words. I have my own worldview and opinions.
While realistic about racism in America, younger black Americans are less angry and strident.
We want a solution. A workable solution to this issue for everyone.
I don’t believe that can happen until blacks open up and begin educating white Americans more about our culture and what causes our anger, and whites open up and accept their legacy of being oppressors and having benefited from that oppression.
Yeah, this is tough stuff.
Obama talks about race in his own beautiful way. He is opening up the discussion so we can begin a dialog with each other without finger pointing and blame. We can all stay in our respective camps about this issue, or, we can finally – let go of our mutual fears and distrust.
Come on, everybody, exhale . . . . ahhh, how refreshing!
Both sides are in pain over our long history of racism. Let the real healing begin now.
I wish my dad had lived to see a black man become President of the United States.
If he were here, I know he’d be so proud right now (and pinching himself to believe it’s really happening)
My dad was a good man. Rev. Wright is a good man.
My generation will not be torn asunder by division and hate.
We will not let it eat us up inside.
We will not let the hate mongers use it to divide and conquer yet again.
You see, racism in America was always an artificial mentality, used mainly for the economic and social benefit of a few people at the top. Think about why they HAD TO make segregation laws in order to keep people apart – because without them, people would naturally come together.
Oh, no. They’re not gonna fool us this time.
We will not let them destroy what we are building – a better future for America.
Yes We Can – tackle this issue and be a better people and a better nation for doing so.
Peace