This is my first diary because, frankly, I'm not a writer. There are so many good writers here that can say it better than me that I'm quite happy to lurk and just throw in the occasional comment here and there.
But this is a personal and heartfelt celebration of food and family, especially my sweet, beautiful, talented and kind daughter, Dani the ET. At 14 she is often the most mature person in the house.
First I have to do just a little whining because it is important to the story. On Tuesday I got the confirmed diagnosis I've been expecting that I do indeed have Rheumatoid Arthritis. I've always been the healthy one in our little family. Now I have to adjust to asking for help instead of giving it.
Mr LT has a myriad of health issues - hypertension, anxiety, depression, acid reflux, and Celiac's disease. The anxiety is bad enough that he doesn't work outside the home, but does work hard as a homemaker. Dani has had major sinus problems from the get-go, beginning with hospitalization at 4 days old because she couldn't breathe and nurse at the same time. She had to have polyps removed from her sinuses last year and while she hasn't had an official diagnosis of Celiac's she was advised by her ENT doc to avoid gluten to help slow the recurrence of the polyps. Since then we have found that her touchy tummy has been greatly helped by avoiding gluten so she likely has Celiac's as well. So, whoopie! All 3 of us now have pre-existing conditions.
Tuesday was a full day. Dani went to my appointment with me, both as moral support and because (I think) she needed to hear it all for herself so she could know I didn't sugarcoat anything. Afterward we went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. I had decided we would stay home for the holiday this year, a first for us as we live close to both extended families. The store was a madhouse and we had a long list for our feast. Dani usually doesn't deal well in that 'bumper shopping cart' atmosphere but she knew how much I needed her help to get through the ordeal and she managed to stay calm through it all. Then a stop by the pharmacy to pick up my new scrips. I was relieved to find that my new drugs are available in generic form as I had feared the worst on cost. I'll throw in an extra Thank You to Mr LT here, got a call from him as we reached the pharmacy to make sure we would be home soon, as dinner was almost ready. That cheered us tired girls up considerably. He is an excellent cook and dinner was delicious. After dinner I made a list for Dani and I of things we needed to get done on Wednesday, aka Baking Day: bake - Cranberry-Orange Scones, Pumpkin Bread, Cornbread for dressing, and French Bread (all gluten free); plant daffodils; have fun.
She kind of looked at me funny about that last item, so I explained that I wanted us to enjoy this experience and so if either of us started getting grumpy the other should work to counteract the trend. Which leads me to the reasons we aren't going to either extended families dinner this year. First, the negative side of it. Going to family gatherings is a stresser for Mr LT as some members of both families think he should 'get a job'. At this point they have at least quit offering unsolicited job hunting advice, but still get in the occasional subtle jab. The worst one of the bunch in his family was hosting dinner this year so that option was definitely out. My family was joining my brother's in-laws for an all catered dinner. We often celebrate various occasions together and I love those people, but somehow this year that just wasn't the right thing for me. First off, since I know my mom has told everyone about my diagnosis I could look forward to it being the topic of discussion all day. This is NOT how I want to spend my day today. No disparagement to Mom on that, she is worried about me and needed to talk about it. It cracked me up when she told me "I talked to your uncle B today and I hope you don't mind that I told him about you having RA... I told your brother too, but that's all. Well except your other brother and oh, I did tell you third brother too." Basically everyone she had talked to. LOL
On the positive side I really, really, really want to cook this year! Usually I cook a couple of things to bring to the family dinner, but I want to cook everything this year. I'm not sure of the exact source of this desire. I'm sure part of it is that I've spent a lot of time watching the food network lately... days when I couldn't do much at all. I'm not big on TV but found I could enjoy the cooking shows. But I think another major part of it is that I feel a need to prove to myself that I can still do this. For those Iron Chef fans out there, if you've watched The Next Iron Chef competitions you'll know that one of the contestants has RA and had a bad flare up during the competition. He pushed through the pain and got all his dishes completed. Although he ended up being cut that day, it wasn't because he gave up. So a shout out to Chef Mullen for the inspiration.
So yesterday Dani and I got to work. Mr LT may be a great cook, but baking is not his forte. But first we planted the daffodil bulbs. An odd item on a baking day to do list, but we had just discovered the day before that we had forgotten them and its getting late to plant them. Dani did all of the digging and we got that done in short order. She then baked the Cranberry-Orange scones from a GF Pantry mix while I put together a couple of GF flour mixtures to use in the rest of the breads. Dani did an excellent job on the scones and we snacked on some of them as we worked. We managed not to scarf them all down, they will be our breakfast this morning. We got rather a late start baking so at this point Mr LT was working on a late lunch/early dinner while we were baking. He was rather grumpy trying to work around us in 'his' kitchen, then he cut his finger and had a hard time stopping the bleeding so the stress level in the kitchen soared. We got his finger cleaned and bandaged and got back to work. I was standing at the sink when Dani came up behind me and tickled me. When I laughed she said "That's better, you were in danger of frowning there..." That's when I knew she had taken that last item on our to do list seriously.
Dani continued to be helpful and sweet for the rest of the day. She folded a couple of loads of laundry in the kitchen so she could keep me company while I made the cornbread and the French bread. Several times when Mr LT got on my nerves she brought me back from the edge of anger to cheerfulness. Then she took over and made the pumpkin bread. This is the most physically demanding of the breads we made as it is a stiff dough that should be hand mixed. This is a long time favorite recipe and it was the first time we would try to revise it to gluten free. We worked together, discussing the properties of the different mixes, one rice flour based, the other garbanzo bean flour based. We decided on 2 c. bean flour mix and 1.5 c. rice flour mix. We also added 1 tsp xantham gum for elasticity. The final product was delicious. The full success of the revised recipe remains to be seen as GF breads don't tend to age well, but it was definitely not a failure.
Today's menu will include roasted cornish hens with cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes, broccoli rice casserole (with brown rice, lots of fresh broccoli and homemade GF cream of chicken soup), homemade cranberry sauce, and for dessert, pumpkin bread and apple pie. It should be quite a kitchen dance with the three of us working together to pull this off.
So this is a great big thank you to Dani the ET for making sure the 'Have Fun' item on the to do list was accomplished. For the cheering me up when I needed it. For embracing the idea of Thanksgiving dinner at home when you were clearly disappointed when I announced my decision. For not complaining when I made you get off the phone when break time was over. For all the hugs and all the laughs.
Thank you Dani the ET for being that pillar of support that has helped me work through the fears and frustrations and keep it all in perspective. Thank you and I look forward to another day of fun in the kitchen. I think today's to do list will start with HAVE FUN!