Another Thanksgiving has written itself into the walls of history. As is tradition for my immediate family of two, my mother and I traveled to the eastern edge of San Francisco for a delectable and scrumptious feast. The parade of food started with compliments from the chef, and it was an assortment of delights for the taste buds, not to mention a welcome surprise that triggered an appreciative smile. Six minutes afterwards, a miscommunication ensued among this party of two and one of our servers, and said assortment was whisked away, leaving me hanging onto my memories of the sweet and savory that once was the plate of chef’s compliments.
If this doesn’t sound familiar to you, then my friend, this diary was written just for you. Please, read on.
In fact, let’s take a look at what a typical day of a gay person might be:
Wake up from the alarm clock.
Jump on the internet and check your email.
Fix a quick breakfast.
Hop in the shower.
Get dressed and head on out.
Put in an eight-hour work day at the office.
Go to your college classes.
Get in a good three-mile jog around the neighborhood.
Study for your final exams.
Listen to your favorite MP3s.
Go grocery shopping.
Do your laundry and fold your clothes.
Vacuum the floor.
Load up the dishwasher.
Eat out with your friends.
Go clubbing.
Hang out at the café.
Attend a house party.
Pop in a DVD and settle down on the couch.
Read the next chapter in your book.
Set your alarm clock for the next day.
Finally, go to bed.
If this is what a typical day of a gay person might be, then we are without a doubt missing something important—absolutely, incredibly important—from this list.
Know what it is?
Go back and take five minutes to read this list again, read it as many times as you’d like even. Do you see what’s missing yet?
Some of you are already screaming the answer at your computer, but many of you are still a bit clueless. When I tell you what it is, some of you will go, "Duh! Of course!" Yet others might say, "Huh? Really?" And unfortunately some others might utter, "And this is important because?" Indeed, here’s a pretty scary thought: what if some people believe we’re not really missing anything? It seems to be a fairly satisfying list, as one might think. But others would glance at this list and right off the bat exclaim, "Hey, how could you forget this!!"...
Ok, enough of the silly fun and games – I’ll give you a hint. See the familiar-looking orange box a few lines below from what your eyes are reading right now? We’re going to interrupt our written prose so you can sit back on your rigid or comfy computer chair and take in the following video. Go on and press play, and I’ll be waiting for you below when you’re done.
Yep, we are missing something undoubtedly important – we are missing our fight for civil rights.
Don’t worry if the answer might not have been as obvious to you compared to others. For the first fourteen years of my gay life since the day I came out, I would have never been able to figure out the answer either.
Then on a beautiful day in May 2008, I along with my gay brothers and sisters received compliments from our California Supreme Court justices, and it was an assortment of dignity, respect and equality for our hearts and souls, not to mention a surprise that triggered the realization that we were finally free people in the Golden state. Six months afterwards, a miscommunication ensued among our No on Prop 8 campaign and the great people of California, and said right to marry the ones that we love was whisked away, leaving all of us hanging onto our memories of the wedding bells and sacred commitments that once was ours to realize.
Sound familiar now?
The Thanksgiving meal that my mom and I enjoyed was wonderful, and the debacle that prematurely ended the chef’s compliments proved to be a blip of annoyance that faded away as we tended to our first course of salads and then onto our main entrees of turkey and stuffing, which was magnificent. I have faith that our great wall of history will be written in the same way. We were (much more than) annoyed with having our rights taken away from us, and sometime, somewhere down the road, whether it will be through another ballot measure or a federal court decision, the same-sex marriage ban in California (and similar bans all over the country) will be overturned, and we will once again resume our weddings and marriages, as our future generations of LGBT and straight citizens alike are stuffed with full equality, dignity and respect. That said, my faith is dependent on our LGBT brothers and sisters staying awake over the next many years and giving some of their time each week to push and pull our movement for civil rights as equal Americans, and my faith is challenged by the darkness of complacency and apathy that may put many of our brothers and sisters back to sleep and hinder our movement towards equality.
It is with this faith that we will stay awake with lighted torches on our quest to equality that I would like to now share with you what I am thankful for this year.
I am thankful for the lives of countless lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people who risked their very lives by coming out of the closet and facing horrific punishment and death for so many centuries and millennia.
I am thankful for the many lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people that constructed our Homophile movement of the 1950’s and 1060’s and stood up to our United States government despite the injustices faced from being different.
I am thankful for the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people that participated in the Stonewall Riots, an event that forty years ago exponentially catalyzed and galvanized our LGBT community to raise the volume of our fight for our civil rights.
I am thankful for the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people that continued to stand in the face of the horror of AIDS that ravaged our community over the past few decades and continues to rob us of so many of our brothers and sisters
I am thankful for every single lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender person that has come before me and added their pieces to the grand puzzle of freedom and equality so that we can live our lives today with some semblance of dignity and respect.
To all of my brothers and sisters that have come before me, I pay my thanks to you, not with mere words, but by adding my piece and helping keep our torches lit so that we will one day solve the puzzle and be free at last.