Sweet hour of prayer. Great googly moogly. My ears are ringing, my pupils are dilated, and I may never walk again. That's either the result of great sex, or the most effective smackdown of rightwing lunacy in the history of the internets.
Come to think of it, it might be a bit of both.
If you haven't yet seen Russell King's "Open Letter to Conservatives" over at Talking Points Memo, you are missing perhaps the best-sourced, best-researched, most scathing take-down since our own Hunter used to bodyslam deserving rightwingers with a fury that left one's jaw on the floor.
To be sure, Mr. King has a politesse that is impressive under the circumstances, beginning with:
Dear Conservative Americans,
The years have not been kind to you. I grew up in a profoundly Republican home, so I can remember when you wore a very different face than the one we see now. You've lost me and you've lost most of America. Because I believe having responsible choices is important to democracy, I'd like to give you some advice and an invitation.
First, the invitation: Come back to us. [Emphasis mine]
That's where the niceties end, and where begins a visit to the woodshed that will almost make you want to avert your eyes. Almost.
Now the advice. You're going to have to come up with a platform that isn't built on a a foundation of cowardice: fear of people with colors, religions, cultures and sex lives that differ from your own; fear of reform in banking, health care, energy; fantasy fears of America being transformed into an Islamic nation, into social/commun/fasc-ism, into a disarmed populace put in internment camps; and more. But you have work to do even before you take on that task.
He's just getting warmed up...
Then comes the list: it may be "by no means exhaustive", but you might just exhaust yourself reading it. It's a seemingly endless litany, fully sourced and linked, covering the following categories:
Hypocrisy
Hyperbole
History
Hatred
Let's just take a small taste from section 1:
Hypocrisy
You can't refuse to go to a scheduled meeting, to which you were invited, and then blame the Dems because they didn't meet with you.
You can't rail against using teleprompters while using teleprompters. Repeatedly.
You can't flip out when the black president puts his feet on the presidential desk when you were silent about white presidents doing the same.
You can't flip out when the black president bows to foreign dignitaries, as appropriate for their culture, when you were silent when the white presidents did the same. Bush. Nixon. Ike. You didn't even make a peep when Bush held hands and kissed (on the mouth) leaders of countries that are not on "kissing terms" with the US.
You can't preach and try to legislate "Family Values" when you: take nude hot tub dips with teenagers (and pay them hush money); cheat on your wife with a secret lover and lie about it to the world; cheat with a staffer's wife (and pay them off with a new job); pay hookers for sex while wearing a diaper and cheatingon your wife; or just enjoying an old fashioned non-kinky cheating on your wife; try to have gay sex in a public toilet; authorize the rape of children in Iraqi prisons to coerce their parents into providing information; seek, look at or have sex with children; replace a guy who cheats on his wife with a guy who cheats on his pregnant wife with his wife's mother
Phew. And that was only about 5% of the first fucking section.
This is starting to wear me out, so we'll just skip past the hundreds of other examples from just the past couple of years (read them for yourself) and go straight to his pithy conclusion:
So, dear conservatives, get to work. Drain the swamp of the conspiracy nuts, the bold-faced liars undeterred by demonstrable facts, the overt hypocrisy and the hatred. Then offer us a calm, responsible, grownup agenda based on your values and your vision for America. We may or may not agree with your values and vision, but we'll certainly welcome you back to the American mainstream with open arms. We need you. [Emphasis mine]
Ever wanted a one-stop source, fully verified and impeccably researched, on rightwing lies, hypocrisy and general idiocy? Then you need to permanently bookmark Mr. King's letter, and you need to save it for future reference. I know I will.
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ADDED:
The author of the masterpiece linked above is in our midst: please tip him accordingly.