I came home from dinner out with a friend tonight to find that my 14-year-old daughter had been on my laptop. Nothing strange about that. But what I read was horrifying. She'd been messaging back and forth with one friend on facebook, and chatting with another. At first I thought I was looking at my own facebook page. But no. These were conversations about a girl they all know -- a girl who is 13, for god's sake -- who is being abused by a neighbor.
This is a bright, funny, feisty kid who, because her family has been evicted from their apartment (I'm not sure why, never got a really straight answer, but then it's really none of my business), is now living in a rather seedy motel in our very middle class town. A kid who seems to seek out happiness and stability with her friends. A kid who has lived in a lot of different places. With, I gather, several of her mom's boyfriends. I'm not faulting her mother; we're all doing the best we can. But this kid deserves better.
As you can probably tell, I really like this girl. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do something about this, given the chance that this child was in danger. So I called the cops. The officer who came was a good guy, very sensitive to my daughter and me. My poor kid is really upset. And not with me, although I'd been pretty sure she'd be outraged by my calling the police. Maybe leaving your facebook page open on your mom's laptop, and leaving the laptop running, isn't so accidental after all. Especially when you know your mom tends to be a pain in the ass who might actually do something embarrassing like calling the cops.
So one of my worst parenting fears has been realized: my kid has had to see the ugliness of child abuse. I'm still not sure of what form the abuse has taken; whatever it is, it's horrific. Her friend is going through something that I can't imagine. And I'm absolutely bullshit that anybody's kid has to experience this. My young friend has experienced a loss of innocence, and so has my daughter. And although I'm an adult and I know how the world is, so have I.
Update: Thank you for your comments. The purpose of the diary was not to pat myself on the back for acting (I know you have too), but I appreciate your support. We heard this morning that the alleged abuser is a friend of the girl's mom. Creepy.