So, I’m watching last night’s Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC on my laptop (remember this event later) when my phone rings.
Caller ID says “Newt 2012”. While I usually blow off these robocalls, I suffered through a minute and a half of dear Newtie bloviating his usual bs about how we need to listen to him because he alone can save America and he alone has done exactly that over the years all by himself. And we should ignore folks like MSNBC’S 24/7 propaganda to re-elect that awful Barack Obama. (Ironic convergence of my activities here, remember.)
Anyway, the savior of all things American finishes and tells me to stay on the line and one of his assistants (I think that’s an odd word) will talk to me. And then of course the obligatory “God bless America.” (Musical interlude, lots of horns.)
Well, poor “assistant” Thomas Hunter proceeds to masterfully read his prepared text and then hits me up for $75 or $100. I pause silently, trying to be tactful, and then ask the question I always ask these people: how did you get my phone number? Is it because I live in [red state]? (My current state of residence has led to a lot of assumptions about church attendance (reality: never), little education (B.A.), politics (I’m left of Dalai Lama), belong to the NRA (laughable), racism (not), and conservatism (ha!) so I get junk mail and robocalls from nutters and fundie churches.)
Poor Thomas says they have purchased call lists from conservative groups of which I am a member.
Another long pause on my end. Still trying to be tactful, I tell poor Thomas I realize he’s just doing his job, but I don’t belong to any conservative groups, I am a socialist, and I don’t vote Republican, and by the way, I think Newt is slimy. Not in so many words, but, boy, do you have a wrong number.
He apologizes profusely and I can tell he feels lucky I didn’t unload on him.
So the call ends as I alternately LMAO at the absurdity of it all or shake my head in disbelief.
A subsequent conversation with my husband results in a lot of head scratching as to what in heck kind of conservative group would think I’m a member. And then it hit me: American Quarter Horse Association. Ergo, thus, and obviously, because I own a horse, I am a gun-totin’, Republican-votin’, flag-wavin’, let’s have another war or two stereotype that would vote for Newt because he’s so gosh-darned smart.
If they only knew, eh?