Yesterday, as I want to do, I was poking around in diaries. When I saw a diary by commonmass NN12 Gay Pub Crawl I went in to at a minimum, drop a rec and tip. Commonmass had the following in the diary..
I'll be leading one on Thursday night (the only night where that will work and after NN official stuff). Straight? Never been to a gay bar? Join us!
I saw that Common Sense Mainer was going. Common Sense Mainer, is a true, real life friend of ours. He is one of the people that my wife Shermanesqe and I spend every moment we can with. We love him and Bill. If it was not for these two, her and I would not be. I wanted to go; but something told me I could not. That is when a weird and different fear hit me that I had never felt before. Not the fear of being labeled as "Gay" but a fear of walking out of a bar with friends and into possible violence. I will explain how this has shaped my day below the "Markos Cheeto Dust"
I was, for the first time in my life, worried that I might run into trouble for just being me.
I have never walked down the street and had "Fucking Hetero" yelled at me. Doesn't happen.
I have never held my wife's hand and had "You fucking heteros make me sick" yelled at me. Doesn't happen.
I have never had a truck full of drunk women pull up and yell "Hey hetero, if you like pussy so much, why don't you come over here and we'll show you". Doesn't happen. if it did, this diary might have started "Dear Forum..."
I can walk out of a bar, spin my wife around and give her a passionate kiss and never once think, even for the briefest second, some idiot will swing a bat, throw a bottle or fire a bullet at us, just because we love each other.
Yet, I had a fear come over me that something could happen, simply because I was coming out of the "wrong" bar. I cannot tell you how pissed off that makes me. I wish I could say that this fear was irrational; but knowing what I know, it is something my friends must face every day. I am not and will not pretend I know what any member of the LGBT community faces in their life, for I do not. It is only for the quickest moment, I think I may have found some insight. It is not pretty...
FYI, I will be going on that pub crawl.. I hope anyone and everyone who can make it, does.