Marco Rubio, Republican savior? Please. First, the man didn't say anything last night that Paul Ryan hasn't already said, and we all know how things turned out for Ryan in 2012. Second, when it comes to the one thing that truly separates these guys—handling their water—it's no competition.
Compare Ryan's poise when reaching for a glass of water during the 2012 vice presidential debate...
...with Marco Rubio's hilarious lunge for a bottle of Poland Springs during his 2013 State of the Union response:
And when it came to actually taking a swig, Ryan knew not to take a gulp in the middle of the sentence. Instead, he raised the glass to his lips with the confidence of a man who knew how to enjoy the thrill of drinking water on live national television:
Meanwhile, Marco Rubio violated the cardinal rule of live television—never, ever try to read the teleprompter and drink from a bottle of water at the same time.
Also, Ryan should get some credit for choosing a glass that matched his body size. Rubio, on the other hand, looked like he was drinking from something that was one step short of a sippy cup. But you know what? When it comes to taking on water, neither Rubio nor Ryan hold a candle to this guy
. Mark my words: When it comes to handling their beverages, three years from now, Rick Santorum will be their biggest nightmare.