It's not easy finding songs for single people who like being single -especially when you're hearing impaired and can't hear the songs to know if you're linking to a good version of it. So, I linked to the lyrics instead with just a short refrain to tempt you. Pixels over tablature for sure.
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Single
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant - Natasha Bedingfield
One is the Magic Number
So many times I define my pride
Through somebody else's eyes (La da da, la da)
Then I looked inside and found my own stride,
I found the lasting love for me
If I'm searching for my spirituality
Passionately I must begin with me - Jill Scott
It's My Life
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive - Bon Jovi
Me, Myself, and I
Me myself and I
That's all I got in the end
That's what I found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend - Beyonce
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun - Cyndi Lauper
Now that you're all in the happy frame of mind from singing these songs (you did sing them, didn't you?), let's talk about the benefits of being single.
Most people, especially those who have a significant other, tend to view singledom as a terrible fate, lonely, loveless, sickly, depressing, pathetic, pitiful, selfish, and you'll die all alone.
Well, we all die alone, even surrounded by family and friends. As for the rest, you can be lonely, loveless, sickly, depressed, pathetic, pitiful, and selfish as part of a couple - only it's harder to fix when you're coupled up with contracts and all.
So let's talk about what it's really like to be single.
I was coupled up once. It lasted 11 years and produced 2 biological children, but before I was coupled up, I was guardian of 6 children (they grew up before I coupled up) that I raised as a single mom. The bio children I thought I'd be raising as a couple, but we all know how that turned out.
I guess I was just built to be single. I did a fine job with my 6 wards as a single person. I did fine with my bio children after I was single again.
Since I am single, and people are always wanting to know when I'll get married, or get a partner, or couple up, and are always telling me I'll die alone, I did a bit of hunting to refute them. This is what I found by conversing with other single people, people who were content to be single, people who preferred to be single.
Mind you, this isn't 100% true, because there's always someone who has to be different, but in general and culled from a multitude of studies and conversations, this is true as I know it:
You’re more hire-able - you aren't married to someone who might be transferred to another state which means your job is a temporary one, a fill-in. Bosses like it that you have the ability to focus on your job without the annoying distraction of you having to pack and move at any moment. Of course, some may wonder about your stability if you aren't married, but most appreciate that your hours could be truly flexible. I know I found it easier to get work as a single person, even as a single mom, tan I did married. After all, I could rely on my spouse's income. I was also better paid as a single woman than a married woman. So yay?
You can change your looks without argument - this one is a bit selfish, but not really. I know when I was married, I had to always get my ex's permission to cut my hair, replace a worn dress with a new one, replace worn shoes with new ones, wear a ponytail instead of a braid, wear a different color nail polish, use a different brand of shampoo (the answer was always "No", in case you're wondering). Now, if I want to color my hair, hack it all off to 2", let it grow, wear metallic copper nail polish, buy shoes that don't have duct tape plugging worn soles, or wear a yellow blouse, I can. No arguments, no "You're not leaving the house looking like that!" Of course, I tend to wear turtle neck tops, long skirts, and funky looking stockings...
You're good at everything because you don't rely on someone else to do it for you When you're part of a couple, you fall into habits. One of you always does the bills and banking, the other always does the lawn... When you're single, you do the bills and banking and the lawn (or hire someone to do the lawn for you...). You know how to shop and where to get the best repairs. You aren't left going "But Pat always handled the insurances!" as you frantically search through all the papers for the policy. You wouldn't believe all the things I learned to do because I didn't have someone else to do them for me.
You make the world a better place That's because you have time to stop and think about what you do. You have time to volunteer, time to spend being a youth group leader, time to do art, to make music, to dance and teach others to dance. You hear about the needs of the world more clearly because you don't have a partner whispering "I need" in your ear. When I was married, I spent so much time taking care of my ex that everything else suffered. As a single mom, and now living alone, I had (and have) way more time to do all sorts of interesting things (except mowing, that's boring not interesting, but essential).
You're free to live the life you want If your boss wants you to relocate a thousand miles away, you don't have to worry about your partner saying you can't accept this wonderful opportunity. If you want to spend your Saturday morning reading to children at the library, you don't have a partner who wants you to go golfing instead. If your best friend invites you to the Azores for a whirlwind shopping trip, you can go (finances considering). If you have a consuming hobby, you can spend time on it. You get to know who you are without always being shaped by someone else. I spent my whole life being "daughter", "mom", "wife", I'm still kind of exploring being just me. I was tossed into motherhood when I was appointed guardian of the orphaned child of friends and so until my last child moved out, I'd never ever lived alone. I always had to be there for someone else, always had to be accountable to others for what I did with my time. I still have to be accountable to my boss, but just for 5 more years, and then I'll be both single and free.
You are healthier This is mostly because you don't share the bad health habits of your partner. Those habits may be perfectly good for your partner, but can be devastating for you. Eating habits in particular can be devastating if you and your partner have different nutritional needs. Sleep habits, temperature preferences. I love things warm and being cold is just misery for me, but my ex was frugal, he refused to let me run the heat in the winter unless he was home, otherwise it was "wasted money". That's how I learned all these ways to stay warm without heat.
You can squeeze into spots couples can't A lot of cultural events may have single empty seats here and there, and if you are a single person, the ticket sales person is more likely to mention it when you show up 15 minutes before show time to a "sold out" concert, because, for some reason, splitting up couples is bad? I don't know, but it's a benefit of being single. You're more likely to be a friend's "plus one" for fun events, get that last single seat on the plane, and often skip to the head of many lines. I have gotten to do and participate in so many things because I was single that I never had the chance to do coupled.
You meet more people Unless you're a total recluse, you tend to meet more people, and more interesting people, when you are doing things like scoring a last minute concert ticket to the "sold out" concert, or when roaming the art gallery alone, or when doing volunteer work. I know no one hesitates to talk to me!
You learn more through sheer exposure Because you have more time to visit art galleries and attend seminars and in-store classes, you learn more just by being out and about. Single people are more approachable - in lines, on trains and busses, in airports, in museums, in zoos, in restaurants. People talk to you, and they tell you all sorts of things - from juicy gossip to the trick to getting the best dish not on the menu.
More time for your friends You have more time to spend with your friends when you make them. This can be because you don't have a partner who dislikes your friends, or insists you can only do "couple" things, or it con simply be that you don't have to spend time liking the things your partner does and psyching yourself up to do them.
No cleaning up after someone else in your home This is perhaps my favoritest part of being single. I don't have to do laundry for someone else, clean up after them scrub the tub and toilet after they are done, wash their dishes, cook their meals, clean up their hobby litter, pick up their dirty clothes and put them in the hamper, wash off their handprints and muddy shoe tracks. I still have to do a lot fo that, but it's just the mess of one person, not two.
Pets You can have as many or as few pets as your landlord allows (if you rent) without being concerned about allergies, the pet not liking your partner, or your partner not liking the pet. If you want to be pet-free, that's also possible (speaking as a parent who spent years taking care of other people's pets...)
Less Drama Or at least, Drama you can go home and escape from. Drama in the home is so tiring, and you can't escape it because it is always waiting for you. And it doesn't have to be started by your partner. You could be the one who instigates the Drama because you've had it with dirty socks tucked under the pillow, and you know you can't not be Dramatic about it when your partner comes home because for crying out loud the laundry hamper is Right There. Yeah, your home becomes truly your refuge and your castle.
More generous Single people tend to be more generous - with tips, with donations, with helping out friends and family because they don't have as many financial drains as children and partners can cause. It's true that married couples get financial perks (called "family value packages" that give breaks on car insurance, health insurance, vacation packages, gym memberships, and taxes), but then you have fewer expenses - it's cheaper for one to eat out than two, cheaper for one to attend a concert or movie than two. So single people may pay a bit more on some things, but in the end, they tend to have more and share it more freely.
You can do riskier things Like starting up your own business. You aren't risking the livelihoods of others if you're single, so you're more likely to consider that start-up business you always wanted to do. You're more likely to risk your savings on a dream. You can walk out on that demeaning boss because only your livelihood is at risk. You're more willing to try new things if you're not worried about your partner putting the kibosh on it.
So sing a song about being single, and browse through these lovely Tops: Top Comments, Top Mojo, and the Picture Quilt composed of Top Comment Pictures:
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March 1o, 2013
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