Or reverse sexist, whatever language you prefer. That's because most of them come into being around Republicans and their New! Improved!!! Whiter Than White!!!! abortion and rape laws.
I have thoughts around other issues, but these particular things stick in my craw so hard I'm ranting before I even process what I just read.
This morning I read a wonderful comment, which I can't place (if you read this, ID yourself so I can praise you personally) about pushback legislation. Most of my great ideas are pushback legislation, which I mostly blew off as too radical, but this comment made the point that the more radical the pushback the better. So here I go!!!
North Dakota, listen up. Now that you've made abortion illegal for every possible reason, you have a problem - babies born to mommies who can't afford pre-natal care, post-natal care, housing, food, clothing, education, toysbooksmusicbabysitterstransportationetc.
There's an excellent solution for this. Every male who lives in or travels in NoDak must be in a DNA database. At birth children born to single mothers will be tested, the father's DNA located and the father's name placed on the Birth Certificate. Any man who fathers a child in NoDak will be fully responsible for the medical care of both mother and child through post-partum checkups, and for the child until he or she graduates from college and gets a job. The father will also provide a minimum of $10,000 per month per child for housing, food, and clothing and must provide annual proof of an education annuity. Any father unable to meet these requirements will be placed in a Scofflaw Father's Prison, from which he will work full time at whatever job the warden sees fit. Any shortfall in monetary recompense will fall on the State of North Dakota, no funding may be diverted from any Federal funding source.
Now I realize there are some problems here. In order to ensure DNA collection, all roads into NoDak must have checkpoints, all airports, train depots and bus depots must be fully staffed and DNA swabs will be required for any male unable to produce his DNA Registry Card on demand. This could cause some serious travel delays, we may have to have many billboards with pictures of adorable infants with "Think of the Babies" slogans at all locations just to remind men that babies have rights, too.
Then there's the problem of women having numerous children just for the income. Since this may be the only way many woman can earn a decent living, I'm okay with that. My only real concern is that NoDak men might be bright enough to figure out that pregnancy requires sperm and there's an app for that, so to speak.
Then there's the $10,000 a month per child. It's a decent amount of money, but given that most states with anti-abortion laws are also likely to be hotbeds of Save Traditional Marriage hype, I think we can partner with the NOM organizations in arguing that any child raised without the benefits of traditional marriage will need far more enrichment throughout his or her childhood, and enrichment is expensive. Isn't that fitting?
For those states that simply require piddly little things like transvaginal ultrasounds, magnified heart sounds, counseling about what a horrible, disgusting, violent Anti-God thing you're contemplating etc, the best solution might be using the Opening Day of each Legislature Session as a Drop-Off Day for mother's who discover they simply can't raise the kid and pay the bills. Just hand that child over to any Legislator, Staff Member, Security Guard or media yahoo. Pack a diaper bag with the original Birth Certificate and contact numbers so you can be reached if the Lege decides to create and fund Professional Mother jobs.
The down side of this is that unless several thousand women appear each session it's likely they'll be fighting child abandonment charges. If enough women participate there's a strong possibility even the total dunderheads in your state might get that there's a serious problem here.
This would also require firm guidelines regarding Professional Mother Status - the funding must be entirely from the State and/or the father since it's not fair to add any more tax burdens to Blue States being sucked dry via Red State Welfare Programs.
On a National Level I'd suggest a Universal Sperm Tax. If you're born male, you start paying X numbers of dollars per year into a Sperm Fund that supports all all single-mother households on a similar level to the NoDak scale. The primary reason for a national Sperm Tax is to introduce a novel concept into the whole Problem of Pregnancy - it takes two genders to make a baby! It could take 30 or more years for this reality to percolate through society, and I'm quite sure that without some hefty financial burdens the idea doesn't stand a chance. There also should be some way to sequester gay men from the tax, although that's problematic. I wouldn't be surprised if a ton of cheap-ass homophobes suddenly de-phobed and tried to find a "partner" beard. Open to suggestions on this!
It would probably be fair to exempt men who are unable to father children, but I'm thinking I'll worry about fairness about 10,000 years after women achieve equality in all aspects of life.
I'm going to save the rape suggestions for another time. I try to keep Sundays more peaceful than weekdays and rape tends to send me into dazzling heights of violence and vitriol.
Please add any suggestions you have about any of the Republican Party's anti-humanity platform. The best will be culled and forwarded to various Democratic leaders for consideration.
3:46 PM PT: Thanks Rescue Rangers!!!!