I've been reading some stuff about privilege and privileged attitudes. One of the things that makes me the most angry is when the privileged person says "It's not fair that you say that I have privilege! That makes me uncomfortable! You're so angry and you should just have a reasonable conversation!"
First, this is a tone argument. Cut it out. It makes you look like an asshole. It makes me angry for quite reasonable reasons, your ignorance and resistance being two of the primary reasons, and you do not get to tell me not to be angry about that.
Second, so you're a little (or a lot) uncomfortable? Aw, poor widdle you. Where is it written that you get to be comfortable all the time? Growth and change don't come when you're comfortable. Grow up.
Third, "fair"? You don't get to have "fair." That's not a word that happens in reality. You get to have "reality" instead.
Make those arguments (tone, uncomfortable, fair), and all it does is make you an asshole. So cut it out.
Come over the jump to see how being an ally (instead of an asshole) works.
If you're male, shut up and listen to what women are telling you. Even if you don't want to believe it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige.
If you're white, shut up and listen to what non-white people are telling you. Even if you don't want to believe it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige.
If you're straight, shut up and listen to what the GLBT population is telling you. Even if you don't want to believe it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige.
If you're cisgender, shut up and listen to what the transgender people are telling you. Even if you don't want to believe it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige.
If you're rich, or middle-class, or well-heeled enough that you don't have to live paycheck to paycheck, shut up and listen to what the poor and disadvantaged are telling you. Even if you don't want to believe it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige.
If you're employed, shut up and listen to what the unemployed and underemployed are telling you. Even if you don't want to believe it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige. Oh, and remember, you also have a chance of being exactly where they are. With the current economy improving for Wall Street and tanking for Main Street, you are not immune to the possibility of being jobless.
If you're abled, shut up and listen to what the disabled and mentally ill are telling you. Even if changing things so that reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige. Even if changing things so that their reality becomes a little less unequal means that you're going to lose a little bit of your power or prestige. Oh, and remember, someday you have an 85% chance of being exactly where the blind man, the deaf woman, the autistic person, or the person with cancer is standing (or sitting) right now. You're not immune. Not even if you're white, straight, male, cisgender, rich, and employed.
I could go on, but you get the point. If society privileges who you are, or what you are (and I didn't even mention religion, education, or monogamy), that means that you have privilege. You probably didn't ask for it, but you have it. That means you have two choices. You can be an asshole, or you can be an ally.
You've been given more? You've earned more? You think you worked for what you have and now you're better off? No matter which of these conditions applies, it's your damn job to be an ally. There's a concept called noblesse oblige which has unfortunately gone by the boards in our Ayn-Randian greed-is-good-and-selfishness-is-better world. It's like the old concept of chivalry. If you got blessed with privilege, it is your duty (not your option) to protect and help those who did not get that lucky.
Sure, you're struggling. We all struggle. But think about where you got to start this race. Now think about where the female, lesbian, transgender, disabled, poor, unemployed person of color had to start this race. Don't you dare whine about your taxes going to help the poor or disadvantaged. Don't you dare complain about trangender people getting medical coverage, or gays and lesbians and bisexuals getting the legal right to marry their same-sex partner under the law. Keep your mouth shut when a pagan group holds their esbat in the park which their tax dollars are paying for just as much as yours are. Don't even start a conversation about blacks and other nonwhite minorities having an unfair advantage through affirmative action when you started the race half a mile ahead of where they did.
Don't you dare wave the "fair" flag to me or to anyone else who isn't in your privileged position. What they're going through is unfair. What you're having to deal with is, at best, an inconvenience.