I read the sad news of Robin William's death and immediately thought of the poem by A.E. Houseman "To An Athlete Dying Young" where the town have all banded together to carry the youth around in victory on their shoulders and now that he has died they will again carry him, only a few of them and with heavy hearts rather than glorious celebration.
Why this image? Because Robin had outgrown his success as a youth and was immensely multi-talented and very obviously so. Obvious to everyone save himself.
Depression sets in and erodes your soul from within. Quietly. Quietly. You try to cope and sometimes you succeed by burying yourself in your work, sometimes by self-medicating. But there comes a time when you are out of the spotlight and back in the real world and that can be a bitter time indeed. The questions you ask yourself about your abilities and self-worth keep popping up like targets in an arcade game and like the arcade games, you usually lose in the end. You think you're no longer 'in the game' because you are not worthy of the adulation you get. NOT WORTHY, WORTHLESS. The spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing continue and there isn't that much of an external sign saying "Hey! I'm in trouble over here, send help."
The athlete who died young and was still the fastest, strongest, smartest, funniest never lived to experience those feelings of self doubt because he died with his title still intact. No chance to mentally write off all the accomplishments as the past and only ask yourself how 'fast' have you been today....
If anyone knows a friend or relative who has battled depression, now's the time to check in and say how much they are worth to you and support their continuous fight against their own internal demons of doubt and ego-erosion
Amid the pomp and public outcry following this loss to the world, keep in mind that you are only as good as YOU think you are.
I can only imagine the price of tickets in Heaven at the opening of his show. It's a good thing that the streets are paved in gold up there eh?
Nanu Nanu and good night sweet prince.
FuckIt!