Dear Rest of the World
We made a boo boo, and as the greatest nation on earth we have looked into our hearts about enhanced questioning. We have found that some of our exceptional people behaved with less than exceptional intent. You see, we are capable of asking ourselves some difficult questions.
Whilst we are marginally apologetic about our actions nobody can really be held responsible for whatever it was that occurred. A few rogue elements misunderstood what our government really wanted to achieve and how we wanted them to achieve it. Sadly our words were misinterpreted by one of our government agencies and a few folks might have been discomforted as a result.
Rest assured that whilst nobody will be held accountable for this slip up in international relations we are somewhat discomforted by the current revelations and promise never to severely question again. You really need to move on now as we have dealt thoroughly with this minor mishap. Don't pay attention to some of the people who were in government at the time saying what we did was right, rest assured that some of us disagree with them.
We may not be prepared to do anything about the past but be comforted that we do all in our power not to be disagreeable in the future. Even though our government looked the other way when their rhetoric was taken to heart we promise to keep an eye on their behavior in the future. Seriously do you take what your leaders order you to do literally?
So now that we have dealt with this matter thoroughly would you kindly move on, we still have work to do, so next time you see us in your neighborhood don't forget to treat us a liberators and do not skimp on the flowers, otherwise some of us might be disagreeable again. Never fear, we will apologize for any minor inconvenience caused if we feel it is appropriate to do so, or get caught doing something we say should not ever be done.