From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Happy Presidents' Day
Woo hoo! I've got my Millard Fillmore tree set up, Andy Williams' classic It's the Most Executive Branchful Time of the Year is playing on the Victrola, and all my coupons are clipped for BIG Pre$ident$' Day $ale-a-bration $aving$ on every mattre$$ in the $tore! Here's your annual quiz:
1. Which president was once a carnival barker at a wheel-of-fortune booth?
A) Ford B) Hoover C) Nixon D) Obama
2. A portrait of which president is the most-reproduced piece of art in history?
A) Lincoln B) Jefferson C) Washington D) Kennedy
Happy Your Day, guys on plate!
3. Name the president who liked to take his pet raccoon for walks around the White House grounds:
A) J.Q. Adams B) Coolidge C) Garfield
D) Andrew Johnson
4. Whose parents took seven weeks to name their kid?
A) James Monroe B) Martin Van Buren
C) Franklin Roosevelt D) William McKinley
5. Name the president who said "McKinley has a chocolate éclair backbone."
A) Taft B) T. Roosevelt C) Wilson D) Cleveland
6. Who was attacked during his campaign for not drinking enough liquor?
A) Garfield B) Carter C) Hayes D) Polk
7. Whose handshake was compared to "a wilted petunia?"
A) Taylor B) George W. Bush C) Jefferson D) B. Harrison
8. President Lyndon Johnson complained over the phone that "the crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight, they cut me. It’s just like riding a wire fence." Who was he talking to?
A) An executive at Haggar Clothing B) Bill Blass C) Lady Bird D) Charles de Gaulle
Answers: C, A (on the penny), B, C, B, D, D, A.
Scoring: 8 = You're presidential material! 0-7 = Oh, let's not dwell on the mistakes of the past, let's look to the future for the sake of our children.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 16, 2015
Note: Due to the Presidents' Day holiday, C&J will appear as scheduled. We regret the inconvenience.
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12 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til spring:
32
Days 'til the
Naperville Winter Ale Fest in Illinois:
12
Rank of China, Indonesia and the Philippines on the list of the world's top plastic polluters:
#1, #2, #3
Number of western countries on the list of the top 20 plastic polluters on earth:
1 (USA)
(Source: AP)
Percent chance House Republicans have finally noticed their own incompetence:
100%
(Source:
Hunter)
Percent by which the un-popped popcorn kernel rate has dropped since 1950:
75%
(Source: FiveThirtyEight)
Minimum number of maps and charts that
Vox needs
to explain alcohol:
35
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saying farewell to Yarmouth, Maine's first Police Dog
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JEERS to not knowing the condition of the patient. Yesterday was supposed to be the end of the 2015 enrollment period for Obamacare signups. Because of multiple issues, we may not know how it went for awhile. Kossack brainwrap wonders if the cutoff date wasn't poorly-chosen…
[I]n addition to having the the 2015 enrollment period end 1) on a Sunday and 2) on Valentine's Day Weekend, tomorrow (Monday) also happens to be Presidents Day, when a whole mess of federal/state offices are closed. Forget about the "tax season" issue...why the hell did they choose this weekend for the cut-off of all times? Why not bump it out to, say, February 28th in the first place??
Plus there were technical glitches at Healthcare.gov for about nine hours Saturday, and there may or may not be a
bunch of extensions at some states for one reason or another. Regardless, the number of signups is still expected to end up around 12 million. Coincidentally, that's the number of days the Republicans have gone without an alternative. Plus infinity.
Portland, Maine SATURDAY!
CHEERS to a gathering of brilliant minds and growly bellies. We have room for more people at the New England Kossack/C&J Meetup coming up
this Saturday from 1-4 at Flatbread Pizza, on the waterfront (next to the Casco Bay Ferry terminal) here in Portland. It's simple to get to and the parking is, like me, cheap and easy. Please RSVP to organizer nhox42 at
nhox42 [at] yahoo.com (or
send him a kosmail). Oh, and the secret phrase for gaining entry to our special table is, "Hey, who hit you with the ugly stick?" Say it loud as the staff there is somewhat hard of hearing.
CHEERS to the last useful thing the Vatican ever did. On this date in 600, Pope Gregory the Great decreed that "God Bless You" would become the religiously correct response to a sneeze. Because the old response---"Oh, hey, that sounds bubonic"---was scaring off the faithful.
CHEERS to dodging a bullet. When we last posted C&J on Friday night, the weather Yodas were 100% sure that Portland was going to get hit with a massive blizzard that would drop a couple more feet of snow to the couple more feet we got over the other couple of feet. But what happened was, southern Maine and Massachusetts got whapped in the junk by the storm, but Portland got tummy-tickled with two inches and then the sun popped out 20 hours earlier than they said it would. The weatherpeople were very wrong. Today we're buying them all drinks.
JEERS to the Apostrolypse. To help solve the mystery of how, exactly, one spells today's holiday, I performed my annual ritual of consulting the blizzard of ads appearing in The Portland (Maine) Press Herald to get some clarity. This year's batch:
This is just an abomination.
Hub Furniture: Presidents' Day (last year it was President's Day)
Bedderrest: Presidents Day
Weirs Motor Sales: President's Day
Macy's: Presidents' Day
Selby Shoes: President's Day
LaZBoy: Presidents Day
Pierce Furniture: Presidents' Day
Mattress Firm: Presidents Day
Staples: Presidents' Day
Dell: Presidents Day
A.C. Moore Arts & Crafts: President's Week
JCPenney: Presidents Day (last year it was Presidents' Day)
Sears: Presidents' Day
Sleep Number: Presidents Day
We trust this clears up any confusion.
CHEERS to a supreme fondness for the grape. File this under "hardly surprising." Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who will be interviewed tonight on The Rachel Maddow Show, became the final attendee of the president's annual message to the country to admit that she'd hit the sauce for the occasion. Thus confirming what we suspected all along: the State of the Union Address is the Golden Globes of constitutionally-mandated political events.
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Nine years ago in C&J: February 16, 2006
CHEERS "SPLOT!" to the cellar dweller. That would be the sound of President Bush's post-State of the Union non-bounce. He actually dropped from 43 to 40 percent in the past month, according to the brand-new Harris poll. For those of you keeping track at home, his February approval ratings since 2001 go like this: 56, 79, 52, 51, 48, 40. And now you know at least one lottery ticket combination that's a guaranteed loser.
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And just one more…
Due to the Presidents' Day holiday, And Just One More has the day off. Please enjoy this cat pushing a baby in a stroller:
We regret yet
another inconvenience.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"So let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is getting stuck in an elevator with Bill in Portland. I mean, amiright, people? Amiright???"
---Franklin Roosevelt
A president
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