It would appear that some here don't quite get how O'Reality (tm) works. It's true! I saw it with my own two eyes. Now, it's totally understandable because you weren't there when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor and Ronald Reagan freed the Israelites. Nobody's going to hold it against you that you were unaware the Magna Carta is written on vellum made from sheep raised on BillO's Great Aunt Maggie's Farm. It's okay if you don't remember that the Liberty Bell was cast from pennies and tin cans young Bill collected and saved while his mother Rosie was off working in a B-29 factory... It's okay because that's ancient history and Bill O'Reilly, the Great and Powerful Wizard of Fox, is there to remember it for you. That's his job... 247 hours a week!
Here's the thing though... If you're so clueless that you can't fathom the O'Reality (tm) that's happened in your own lifetime, then you deserve what's coming to you.
And you're going to get it on the other side of that loofah!
You see, Bill O'Reilly has no time for your mamby pamby fact checking malarky! If Bill O'Reilly tells you that he was peeping through the window when Monica Lewinsky's dress was soiled, then you just better believe it's fucking true! If you can't recall the O'Reality (tm) that Bill once made a slam dunk from half court while tying Michael Jordan's shoelaces, then there's just something seriously wrong with you! Has it slipped your feeble minds that when the Nothing was threatening our world, Bill O'Reilly lead coalition forces in the General Lee to rescue Princess Buttercup from Lord Farquardt? If you don't care that it was Bill who drove the Death Star into Jupiter so we could have a second Sun, then I'm just flabbergasted... Fuck it, we'll do it live!!
When the Earth exploded and we all travelled to this planet on the giant space ark, who lead the way? You fucking know who! When Russian and Cuban Paratroopers invaded America and and stole the Declaration of Independence did BillO cry about it? Hell no! He took them all on single handed with his survival knife, jumped off a crane onto that Harrier, and flew it right up the asshole of that goddamn alien spaceship like the banana in the tailpipe trick!! Why? Cause that's what real men do. So while you pinheads are sitting there with your cheetos watching whatever it is that's not on Fox, you just remember... It's Bill O'Reilly that gave you that freedom, because he lived this shit!!!
Now that we've got that all cleared up, let's hop in the Wayback machine, crank our Googlephonic stereo up to 88 miles an hour, and share our favorite O'Reality (tm) stories.