From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Things I Learned from Republicans in March
I filtered out the kooky stuff, leaving only the Ph.D.-level nuggets:
Prison turns you gay.
The solution to the problem of having too many homeless people in America is letting wolves eat them.
The Iranians have captured Tehran!
To eliminate the effects of climate change, just eliminate the phrase "climate change."
President Obama and Eric Holder are the real racists in America.
America's children should be taught that "Your world is on fire!"
If you're the president and Congress fails to follow your orders, just call in the military.
If you're a parent and your child fails to follow your orders, just call in the exorcist.
All psychopaths look elegant.
A pregnant woman is not a mother. She is a "host."
Congratulations. You may now move your tassel to the other side of your mortar board.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, March 26, 2015
Note: Due to Billy's new religious objection to working on Monday, there will be no C&J on Monday. But because he believes in redemption, he will rise again to post on Tuesday. Your lights may flicker for a few seconds---this is normal.
---God, via Skype
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9 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the deadline for announcement of a nuclear deal with Iran:
5
Days 'til the
South Jersey Geek Fest:
9
Number of states where the death penalty can be legally carried out with a firing squad:
1 (Utah)
Percent of Americans who live in the same house they were living in a year ago:
84.8%
(Source: Census Bureau)
Year that the median monthly bill for a shared room at a nursing home topped $6,000 per month:
2014
(Source: Genworth)
Average annual wage gap between male nurses and female nurses:
$5,000
(Source: AP)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I write about the Terry Schiavo case both as one who has personally confronted the "pull the plug" question on several levels in recent years and as a staggered observer of this festival of political hypocrisy, opportunism and the trashing of constitutional law, common sense and common decency. […]
I am indebted to the blogger called Digby for the following points: Those who passed this bill are the same politicians who want to outlaw medical malpractice suits like the one that provided the care for Terry Schiavo for many years while she was in "a persistent vegetative state." They are the same politicians who have just finished changing bankruptcy law so that it is now much harder for families hit by tragedies like this one to get out from under the staggering medical bills. How dare they talk about morality?
How can a bunch of blowhard television pundits with no medical training whatsoever conclude anything about Terry Schiavo's condition from watching a few seconds of edited videotape? Where on earth do they get the nerve to make any pronouncements about her condition?
---March, 2005
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Puppypalooza L.A.
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Happy Birthday!
CHEERS to speakers you won’t find at Best Buy. Happy birthday (and many blessings on your camels), Nancy Pelosi! The former and future Speaker of the House turns a sprightly 75 today, and she can still
photobomb with the best of 'em. When I think about all the things she got done when she wielded the gavel versus her orange chain-smoking successor, it almost boggles the mind…and a pox on Harry Reid for not passing more House bills back when he had an almost-unheard-of 60-vote majority. These days Pelosi is virtually a de facto Speaker, and Boehner would be completely paralyzed without her help on important
things like this:
House Republican and Democratic leaders have worked out compromise legislation that would: (1) permanently fix Medicare’s flawed physician payment formula, which repeatedly threatens drastic 20- to 30-percent cuts in physician payment rates; (2) offset part of the cost of fixing the payment formula, primarily by trimming Medicare provider payments and modestly raising Medicare premiums for some high-income beneficiaries; and (3) extend funding and current policy for the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) and several expiring Medicare and Medicaid provisions for two years.
As per tradition, Denny Hastert will jump out of her birthday cake, after which nobody will eat any.
JEERS to this morning's I-Hope-You're-Sitting-Down bombshell. Seriously---you should be surrounded by lots of padding to catch your fall when I announce this shockarooni: one of the original members of One Direction is leaving the group. He'll be replaced by Shemp.
CHEERS to sensory-overload sensitivity. Whew---the sheer number of stories about that guy who announced this week that he's a GOP candidate for president has been a tidal wave of TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! So we'll take pity on you this morning and, instead of harping on never-gonna-president rhymes-with-Fed-Frooz, we'll post this helpful reminder from the Rhode Island State Police:
But if you must know: yes, as of this morning, Fed Frooz is still a frasshole.
JEERS to rubes in robes. Ian Millhiser at Think Progress has a new book out that shines a spotlight on the lowlights of our Supreme Court's history. In this post he lists who he believes are the five worst justices ever. The Cliffs Notes version:
Justice Stephen Johnson Field joined the Court’s pro-segregation decision in Plessy v. Ferguson, and he authored another opinion permitting former Confederate officials to practice law in federal court. … The cause of Field’s life, however, was neutering the government’s power to enact economic and business regulation.
“They won’t be selling
'Injustices' at the Supreme
Court gift shop."
--Jeffrey Toobin
Chief Justice Roger Taney authored what is widely viewed as the worst single decision in the Supreme Court’s history, the pro-slavery decision in Dred Scott v. Sandford. Taney ranks second on this list solely due to the egregiousness of Field’s efforts to manipulate the Constitution.
Justice James Clark McReynolds was, in Time magazine’s words, “a savagely sarcastic, incredibly reactionary Puritan anti-Semite.” … There is no official photograph of the justices for 1924 because the Court’s seniority-based seating chart required McReynolds to sit next to Brandeis, and McReynolds simply refused to be photographed next to his Jewish colleague. [N]o justice carried more vitriol or self-absorbed hatred to the bench than Justice McReynolds.
Chief Justice Melville Fuller presided over a trio of major decisions, two of which he authored. The first hobbled Congress’s ability to tax the wealthy. The second gave a business trust which controlled over 98 percent of the nation’s sugar production constitutional immunity to federal antitrust laws. And the third gave every federal judge in the country sweeping, extra-legal powers to bust unions. Chief Justice Fuller presided over the Court’s infamous decision in Lochner v. New York, which struck down a New York law prohibiting bakeries from overworking their workers.
Clarence Thomas is the only current member of the Supreme Court who has explicitly embraced the reasoning of Lochner Era decisions striking down nationwide child labor laws and making similar attacks on federal power. Indeed, under the logic Thomas first laid out in a concurring opinion in United States v. Lopez, the federal minimum wage, overtime rules, anti-discrimination protections for workers, and even the national ban on whites-only lunch counters are all unconstitutional. … He makes this list because, frankly, he should know better than his predecessors.
Real sweethearts, huh.
CHEERS to makin' up and makin' nice. Thirty-six years ago today, on March 26, 1979, Israel's Menachem Begin and Egypt's Anwar Sadat signed a historic peace agreement that is still holding up today:
"One...two...three...Hooray!"
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The Egypt-Israel peace treaty was a direct result of the Camp David Peace Accords, signed in September 1978. President Sadat and Prime Minister Begin were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize later that year.
Under the accords, Israel agreed to withdraw troops from the Sinai Peninsula in return for Egypt's recognition of the state of Israel. Palestinians were also granted the right to some self-determination.
Said Sadat of the mediator, Democratic President Jimmy Carter: "[He is] the man who performed the miracle. Without exaggeration, what he did constitutes one of the greatest achievements of our time." Yeah, we're kinda fond of him ourselves.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 26, 2005
JEERS to messing with tradition. The annual White House Easter Egg Roll will take place on the White House lawn Monday with a few changes: Children will be screened for hidden weapons, forced to sign a Dick Chenery-penned loyalty oath, and pre-recruited for the National Guard by Rumsfeld in a bunny costume. And this year there's an extra-special prize for the kid who finds the Golden Egg: a free tank of gas.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the best science officer in the galaxy. This guy:
Happy 84th birthday, Leonard Nimoy, wherever you are.
Live long and have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Someone had to create Cheers and Jeers. That someone turns out to be Bill in Portland Maine, a weird monkey-lizard creature/scientist who's existed since the beginning of time, who somehow thought it was a good idea to make a giant, planet-devouring kiddie pool.
---Rob Bricken, i09
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