Sorry, cheeseheads, but Vegas oddsmakers say that your Badgers are 5-point underdogs against the presently undefeated Kentucky Wildcats. You'll just have to settle for the consolation prizes: another Final Four banner and a congressional map that better reflects your electorate. As usual, it's below the orange squiggle.
Previous states, in publishing order: North Dakota, South Dakota, Alaska, Delaware, Maine, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Idaho, Nebraska, West Virginia, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Kansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, Iowa, Connecticut, Oklahoma, Oregon, Kentucky, South Carolina, Louisiana, Alabama, Colorado, Minnesota
My middle finger to Scott Walker:
Close-up of the Milwaukee area:
1st District (blue): Gwen Moore (D-Milwaukee). Northern Milwaukee. Black plurality (48.5%). 76.3% Obama. Safe D.
2d District (green): Open. Downtown Milwaukee and Waukesha. 56.3% Obama. Lean D.
3d District (purple): Fuckstick James Sensenbrenner (R-Menomonee Falls). Pretty much all of the rural and conservative parts of southeastern Wisconsin. 62.3% McCain. Safe R.
4th District (red): Open. South Milwaukee, Kenosha, Racine, and Beloit. 58.1% Obama. Safe D.
5th District (gold): Mark Pocan (D-Madison) and Paul Ryan (R-Janesville). Madison and Janesville, out to the southwestern corner. 71.5% Obama. Pretty Boy Ryan has nowhere to run. He's out of a job. Safe D.
6th District (teal): Open. Madison suburbs and the Wisconsin Dells area. 62.9% Obama. Safe D.
7th District (dark gray): Ron Kind (D-La Crosse). West central Wisconsin. La Crosse and Eau Claire. 58.8% Obama. Safe D.
8th District (slate blue): Open. Northwestern Wisconsin. 53.8% Obama. Tossup/Tilt D.
9th District (cyan): Sean Duffy (R-Weston). North central Wisconsin. Stevens Point, Wausau, and Rhinelander. 55.2% Obama. Yet another Republican will likely be going bye-bye faster than the Milwaukee Bucks during playoff season. Tossup/Tilt D.
10th District (deep pink): Open. Fond du Lac, Oshkosh, and Appleton. 54% Obama. A perfect district for either former congressman Steve Kagen (D-Appleton) or 2014 congressional nominee Mark Harris (D-Oshkosh). Lean D.
11th District (chartreuse): Current nominee for America's stupidest congresscritter, Glenn Grothman (R-Campbellsport). Rural central and east central Wisconsin. 59.4% McCain. Safe R.
12th District (cornflower blue): Current nominee for America's stupidest congresscritter name, Reid Ribble (R-DePere). Green Bay, Sheboygan, and Manitowoc. 54.6% Obama. Reid will fold against a Democratic challenger like the Packers fold against the Seahawks. Tossup/Tilt D.
14 Electoral Votes: Another one of those states that tantalizes Republicans every presidential year, only to stay blue in the end. For that reason, Lean D.
CUBE ROOT HOUSE (338 required for majority)
States counted: AK, AL, AR, CO, CT, DE, HI, IA, ID, KS, KY, LA, ME, MN, MS, MT, ND, NE, NH, NM, NV, OK, OR, RI, SC, SD, UT, VT, WI, WV, WY
Best case scenario
Safe D: 56 (added WI-1, WI-4, WI-5, WI-6, WI-7)
Lean D: 33 (added WI-2, WI-8, WI-9, WI-10, WI-12)
Tossup: 10
Lean R: 7
Safe R: 70 (added WI-3, WI-11)
Total: 89 D, 10 Toss, 77 R
Worst case scenario
Safe D: 52 (added WI-1, WI-4, WI-5, WI-6, WI-7)
Lean D: 18 (added WI-2, WI-10)
Tossup: 20 (added WI-8, WI-9, WI-12)
Lean R: 10
Safe R: 76 (added WI-3, WI-11)
Total: 70 D, 20 Toss, 86 R
CUBE ROOT ELECTORAL COLLEGE (390 required for presidency)
States counted: AK, AL, AR, CO, CT, DE, HI, IA, ID, KS, KY, LA, ME, MN, MS, MT, ND, NE, NH, NM, NV, OK, OR, RI, SC, SD, UT, VT, WI, WV, WY
Best case scenario
Safe D: CT (10), DE (4), HI (5), ME (4), OR (10), RI (4), VT (3) = 40
Lean D: IA (9), ME (1), MN (14), NE (1), NH (5), NM (7), NV (8), WI (14) = 59
Tossup: CO (13), NE (1) = 14
Lean R: MT (4), SC (12) = 16
Safe R: AK (4), AL (12), AR (8), ID (5), KS (8), KY (12), LA (12), MS (9), ND (4), NE (4), OK (10), SD (4), UT (8), WV (6), WY (3) = 109
Total: 99 D, 14 Toss, 125 R
Worst case scenario
Safe D: CT (10), DE (4), HI (5), ME (4), OR (10), RI (4), VT (3) = 40
Lean D: ME (1), MN (14), NE (1), NH (5), NM (7), WI (14) = 42
Tossup: CO (13), IA (9), NV (8) = 30
Lean R: MT (4), NE (1), SC (12) = 17
Safe R: AK (4), AL (12), AR (8), ID (5), KS (8), KY (12), LA (12), MS (9), ND (4), NE (4), OK (10), SD (4), UT (8), WV (6), WY (3) = 109
Total: 82 D, 30 Toss, 126 R