There's an old saying in Texas that says, "Fool me once, shame on—shame on you; fool me—you can't get fooled again."
Now, obviously, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott's mama didn't raise no fool.
Despite repeated assurances that the U.S. military's upcoming training exercise, (code) named "Jade Helm," isn't a prelude to the imposition of martial law—or, even worse, Sharia law—Gov. Abbott is refusing to take any chances.
He recently ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor the situation, and to be on the lookout for treasonous activity.
Meanwhile, Chuck Norris (Texas Ranger) stands ready to assume the presidency of Texas, if (read: when) secession becomes necessary—and there's very good reason to believe that will happen soon.
I mean, it can hardly just be a coincidence that "Jade Helm" is an anagram for "Jehad Elm."
Clearly, "Jehad" is an (intentional) misspelling of "Jihad," and "Elm" is a reference to the Nightmare on Elm Street films.
Wake up, sheeple!
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Former HP CEO Carly Fiorina; Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Others TBD.
Face the Nation: Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT); Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R); Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Democratic Strategist Stephanie Cutter; Roundtable: Susan Page (USA Today), John Heileman (Bloomberg Politics), Mark Leibovich (New York Times Magazine) and Ron Fournier (National Journal).
This Week: Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson; Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC); Former Head of U.S. Special Operations Command Adm. William McRaven (Ret.); Roundtable: Gwen Ifill (PBS), Jamelle Bouie (Slate), Rich Lowry (National Review) and Greta Van Susteren (Fox News).
Fox News Sunday: "Brain Surgeon" Dr. Ben Carson; Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Lisa Lerer (Associated Press), Michael Needham (Heritage Action for America) and Charles Lane (Washington Post).
State of the Union: Deputy Special Presidential Envoy to the Coalition to Counter the Islamic State Group Brett McGurk; Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI); World War II Veteran Nick Zuras; Others TBD.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will fwature: an interview with American businessman Jack Barsky, who spied for the Soviet Union during the final decade of the Cold War (preview); a profile of Misty Copeland, one of ballet's few black stars (preview); and, an interview with undercover informant Michael Blutrich, who helped indict many Mafia members (preview).
On Comedy Central...
Jon Stewart examined the mutually-beneficial relationship Republican presidential candidates have with their sugar daddies. (05/07/15)
The Daily Show:
Monday: Musician John Legend; Tuesday: Journalist Tom Brokaw; Wednesday: Religious Scholar/Author Reza Aslan; Thursday: Actress/Comedian Rebel Wilson.
Unfortunately, videos from
The Nightly Show aren't embedding properly.
Elsewhere...
Rep. Darrell Issa, the richest member of Congress, marveled at how good America's poors have it.
"If you go to India or you go to any number of other Third World countries, you have two problems: You have greater inequality of income and wealth. You also have less opportunity for people to rise from the have-not to the have," Issa said, according to CNN Money. America has actually made "our poor somewhat the envy of the world," he added.
Meanwhile...
Some other duckies were not quite so lucky.
A musical based on the family featured in the "Duck Dynasty" reality TV series is closing in Las Vegas, a little more than a month after it opened.
"The Duck Commander Musical," based on the book "Duck Commander Family" by Willie and Korie Robertson, will shut down on May 17 after typically selling less than 100 tickets per performance despite heavy discounting, the Las Vegas Sun reports.
And, speaking of getting shut down...
Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza's plea for leniency was denied.
A federal judge smacked down conservative scribe Dinesh D'Souza Tuesday — for trying to take the summer off from his court-mandated community service. […]
"With respect to [his parole officer's] request that Mr. D'Souza's community service hours be 'waived' from June 1, 2015 until July 13, 2015, the request is respectfully denied," Berman wrote.
"The short explanation is, as all criminal defendants are aware, that we don't provide 'summer breaks' in these circumstances."
It's a conspiracy!
- Trix