...And I still can't celebrate.
Like most people in the world (just hazarding a guess with no facts to back it up) I have not always been a choirboy. Back in the early 1990's, shortly after leaving the U.S. Navy disillusioned and with no clear sense of "what I wanted to do when I grow up"(I was 24 in 1990) I indulged in a lot of activities in my hometown while "couch-surfing" with various ex-friends. Some I regret. A lot of them I don't. They are a part of what made me who I am today and I am ok with that. I like myself. Hell, I might even love myself...too much sometimes if you talk to my wife.
Please follow me below the fold for a few more paragraphs comparing myself to our current BushCo criminal family and why I think I would be justified in my rage towards the system if I end up not getting this job. Advice and comfort would be appreciated as well. Flame away if you must but I can't promise that I will dignify with a response. As Always...Peace is the objective.
So now, seventeen years later I have this great job offer and I'm worried. Should I be? Post 9/11 paranoia and removal of basic Constitutional rights has me wondering if somehow my past could still reach out and screw me...or could it? Or should it?
I did a couple of brief stints (14 & 40 days respectively) in the grey-bar motel due to a D.U.I. and a couple of contributing to the deliquency of a minor charges. Yeah, I was drinking in a park with a large number of people, a few of whom happened to be under 18. Yeah, cooler heads didn't prevail and I should have known better. Yeah, I was young, dumb & full of c#m and should have had my ass in college...something I do regret to this day.
This is the extent of my "rap sheet". No history of violence. Unfortunately, the D.U.I. in 1993 was a felony due to a recent change in the CA law at that time. .08 two blocks from home and the cop still wouldn't just follow me and make sure I got home safe. I'm still bitter about that but I accept responsibility. It was a big boo-boo and I am forever grateful that no one has ever been hurt due to any of my deviations from the "norm". I guess I've always been a rebel but now, at least I have a cause.
Throughout the rest of the 1990's I ended up as a manager at a gas station, manager at a McDonalds and in an abusive relationship with a maniacly-depressive (bi-polar) woman who I finally had to break away from. I was lucky enough to have my biological mother "find' me and for a year I moved up to Washington to connect with her and became an Inventory Supervisor for a major "middle-man" logistical company founded on the east coast. (Jersey guys through-and-through that still illicit a chuckle everytime I recall them...they were definitely characters)
In the last seven years in this 21st Century I have been a relay operator for the deaf community and most recently a facility manager for a cultured marble factory. I have taken and passed every physical, urinalysis and pre-employment questionnaire/aptitude test thrown at me and with flying colors. I even managed to finish first in a class of 12 at a U.C. extension course for Hazardous Waste Operations and Emergency response as required by my last employer in a room peppered with college-educated engineers and scientists. (No offense to anyone here but, just because you graduate college with a degree doesn't mean that your ability to learn is any better than us High School Grads...just sayin')
So anyways...here I am. Present and accounted for. Accountable to my wife and young daughter and to the laws of the land that I follow. A tax-payer, albeit not too much, just my share.
Meanwhile, in D.C.-la-la land we have some real pieces of work running things and causing a hopefully-unfounded-paranoia in me regarding my "shady" past.
First of all...
Cooking intelligence for the Iraqi war.
...nope, never lied and made sure my cronie's pockets stayed full of cash while thousands died needlessly as a result. [Check]
Next...
Ignoring the victims of Hurricane Katrina and going golfing while this tragedy unfolded.
...once again nope, never lied and made sure my cronie's pockets stayed full of cash while thousands died needlessly as a result. [Check]
The outing of Valerie Plame, an undercover, covert, CIA agent, done solely for retaliatory purposes against her husband.
...got that one covered, for sure. Never even thought about committing treasonous acts against my country in the course of having a few beers in the park while listening to some cool tunes. I guess I'm just a dirty hippie. [Check]
For Systematic Voter Fraud during the 2004 Election.
...actually, I wasn't voting while I was rocking out to Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix. Never crossed my mind. Now it does and I would never want to make sure that some people couldn't vote because of their class, ethnic or racial status. [Check]
For the Duke Cunningham Scandal.
...are you kidding me? If I don't have the money to buy a yacht and a slimy jacuzzi I don't buy it. And I definitely wouldn't use backroom deals and taxpayer's money to purchase it...duh! [Check]
For The Enron Scandals.
...See immediately above. [Check}
For Illegally Wiretapping Americans.
Violating the FISA Act.
...not that there weren't times that I would have loved to know what was on people's minds and in their e-mails and in their private discussions on the phone. Still...c'mon, that definitely is not cool...period. [Check]
Halliburton giving spoiled food to our troops.
...food safety was of an utmost concern to me as a manager at Mc'Donald's. Even if the actual ingredients lead to clogged arteries and obesity I made sure that no one died of food poisoning on my watch. [Check}
Bush selling our forests and national parks to the highest bidder and his cronies
...Hey, don't get me wrong. I would definitely sell out the corporations and cronies to the forests and national parks. Call it my personal beautification project. [Check]
Torture at Guantanamo Bay and other locations around the world of innocent people.
...see "No history of violence' in my first few paragraphs. I am not evil, unlike some other people I could mention. [Check]
Ok, enough's enough. This is too easy and I want to finish this up before you fall asleep.
As I stated earlier I now have a beautiful, loving wife and a cherished & spoiled 3 year-old daughter that the sun rises and sets on every day of my life. I've been a good guy and I've tried to follow the rules for the past 15 years, even if they suck. I'm 40 and I need to find something I can sink my teeth into and the position offered to me of Quality Auditor for a major west-coast container company could be the break I've been waiting for.
This Thursday I go for my physical and a hair analysis. Yep, the man's bottle isn't good enough anymore so now I gotta worry that they might find out I smoked a joint or two five years ago. Plus, I'm hoping the background check is only for the past seven or ten years but, who knows? Like my friend and fellow Kossack Edrie says: "Just because they can find out anything they want to about you, does that make it right?"
I couldn't agree more. I'm a decent, working-class guy who just wants to keep paying the rent and keep putting food on my family. The powers that be get away with murder and yet they enable their enablers the ability to find out when I last wiped my ass. Is that right? Do I have a reason to be concerned, pissed and just generally outraged at what has become of this country?
I think I do. I might be wrong but I doubt it. I'd appreciate it if you have any thoughts on the subject of screwing Average Joe to keep him down. I know I have plenty of thoughts but a lot of them aren't too pleasant and, like I've always been told...If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I amended that rule so as to not include right-wing, repressive, criminal rethuglicans. It helps.
As Always...Peace ;-)>