Well...hey there, hi there and ho there. Are you as happy as can be? How are them candidate diaries working out for ya? Had enough? Ready for a laugh or a "Fuck yeah!"
I've been away for a while and while I ain't no KarateExplosions I would like to share with you my latest stream of consciousness in response to an e-mail from a friend of mine from high school who is obviously firmly entrenched in wingnuttiavilla. I couldn't resist going on a little rant in answering his 22 gems from the ReThug "101 Talking Points" Hall-Of-Fame.
Got a minute to go below the fold???...Hmmmm? I promise that at least a few of you might give me a tip...Maybe?...Kinda?...Sorta?...Love Ya.
Peace................................;-)>
-------Original Message-------
THE DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Requirements for Being A Good Democrat
1.
You have to be against capital punishment,
but support abortion on demand.-
Yes, I am against the death penalty and I am a conscientious objector and would never kill another human being except in defense of my life, the life of my wife, child or an innocent person in a specific, life-threatening situation. I will not go to war for another group's evil, ulterior motives...like Iraq, for example. Oh yeah, of course I support a women's right to choose what happens to her own body. Too many men are too concerned over what happens in a women's womb. Try passing a bowling ball guys. When you do that then maybe we can talk. Until then...shut up and stay the fuck out of women's decisions about their own, personal health and bodies.
'Nuff said on that one.
2.
You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.-
No, you have to believe that businesses are better at creating oppression while super-imposing the illusion of prosperity and fancy, shiny, flat-screened gadgets and gizmos on a complacent, apathetic, "American-Idol"-watching public while they laugh all the way to the bank. At least Joe & Jane Public have a little more control over their government...or at least they're supposed to.
3.
You have to believe that guns
in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology
in the hands of Chinese and Korean communists.-
They're both a threat and both can be dealt with simultaneously in the their own, unique way. It's called multi-tasking. If one must hunt, fine...have a rifle or two and go have a killer time and revel in your cruelty towards another species. Private citizens don't need an arsenal just to out "dick-size" Joe Jones down the block. It's NOT their Constitutional right...period. Read the fucking thing carefully and get back to me about that "well-regulated militia" thing written in another time before electricity and the light bulb. Do you own a musket or an automatic weapon or two? Big difference. 'Nuff said.
4.
You have to believe that there was no art
before Federal funding.-
I address the tax priority issue downthread also. +$forPicasso&Rembrandt-$forWAR!...duh.
5.
You have to believe that global temperatures
are more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's
than cyclical,
documented changes in the earth's climate.-
Global warming is a scientific fact...much like evolution, another subject that the regressive, repressed crowd has a problem with. Soccer mom's would have no problem switching to a non-fossil-fuel-using vehicle to carry their little athletes around...I know my sweetheart wouldn't. Would you? Muscle cars have a rightful place in the Smithsonian Institution...not on my roads.
6.
You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.-
Yes...whatever. Enough with the homophobia. Get over it. Live and let live.
7.
You have to believe that the AIDS virus is
spread by a lack of federal funding.-
No, you have to believe that it is spread through unsafe, unprotected sex with a variety of partners. But, it would be nice if we could spend a little more $ on ending a disease that kills people and a little less $ on bigger, badder, better, bunker-busting bombs that kill people.
8.
You have to believe that the same teacher
who can't teach fourth graders how to read
is somehow qualified
to teach those same kids about sex.-
Still a hell of a lot better than the narrow-minded parents who somehow honestly think that they can stop their young adult children from having sex by using threats, intimidation and fear(The Bible)...like their parents did while they were having sex anyways also. Duh!!! Can we ever accept reality on this subject or are we going to continue to keep our puritan heads buried in the sand forever?
9.
You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists,
who have never been outside of San Francisco, do.-
You have to believe that hunter-types want to dominate nature like their "Good Book" tells them but "loony activists" understand and respect Mother Earth for what it is...our home.
10.
You have to believe that self-esteem
is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.-
You don't "earn" self-esteem...you gain it through experience and realizing that you are not a "sinner" who needs forgiveness and should tow the line in order to receive it but that you are a unique, valuable creation in this wonderful universe who is just as worthy as the next guy or gal...regardless of what you do to "earn" money in this twisted, capitalist joke of a society that hands out 100million $ bonuses to white-collar pig/criminals but throws a $600 bone to the decent folks just trying to survive.
11.
You have to believe that Mel Gibson
spent $25 million of his own money
to make
' The Passion of the Christ'
for financial gain.-
No...but you might say "Who gives a fuck why Mel Gibson made a movie?" Does Jesus care what Mel Gibson has to say about him? Does it make him cry? Should we pray for Mel Gibson? Gimme a fucking break.
12.
You have to believe the NRA is bad
because it supports certain parts of the Constitution,
while the ACLU is good
because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.-
The ACLU protects your civil liberties and mine. The NRA and it's "I-have-a-small-dick-so-I-need-to-carry-a-big-gun" crowd mis-reads the 2nd amendment and utters silly slogans about prying stuff out of cold, dead fingers. Lovely, uplifting crowd.
13.
You have to believe that taxes are too low,
but ATM fees are too high.-
You have to believe that taxes are spent the wrong way and yes...damnit! ATM fees are too high.
14.
You have to believe that
Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem
are more important to American history
than
Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.-
Different people are important in different ways. I don't even know who Margaret Sanger is but Ms. Steinem's pretty cool. Here we go being afraid of intelligent, assertive women again.
15.
You have to believe that
standardized tests are racist
but racial quotas and set-asides are not.-
No, but you must believe that the Civil War ended 143 years ago and the correct side won and a lot of rich, white people owe a lot to a lot of poor, black people and "Deliverance" is only sort of a story of fiction. Scary genetic material floating around in the Southwest quadrant of these United States.
16.
You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is
normal and is a very nice person.-
No...you have to believe that there is no definition for "normal" and that wingnuts are obsessed with Hillary for no apparent reason other than their hate, sociopathies and fears of an assertive, capable, intelligent women running things. It drives 'em fucking crazy.
17.
You have to believe that
the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it has ever been tried
is because
the right people haven't been in charge.-
Wrong. By the way, the "right" people have been in charge the last 7 hellish years in this country. How's that working out for the working man...ya know, the backbone of our "great, capitalist experiment".
18.
You have to believe conservatives telling the truth
belong in jail,
but a liar and sex offender belongs
in the White House.-
Getting a blowjob from a young intern in a consensual encounter makes one a sex offender? A bad husband, yes...a sex offender, not so much. We all lie...next. You're kidding about the conservatives telling the truth thing, right?
19.
You have to believe that
homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality
should be constitutionally protected,
and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.-
Separation of church and state...not Adam & Steve. How does them blowing each other in the privacy of their bedroom affect your rights or threaten your version of a family?
20.
You have to believe that illegal,
Democrat Party funding
by the Chinese Government
is somehow in the best interest to the United States .-
Huh? Yeah...no Rethuglicans are in bed with any corporate interests vested in cheap Chinese labor. Can you say Wal-Mart?
21.
You have to believe that this message
is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.-
A conspiracy is an organized plan to carry out a secret agenda to achieve one's nefarious intentions using intelligence and experience...obviously right-wingers don't possess that sort of all-encompassing intellectual ability or willingness to think outside of their narrow little box.
22.
You have to believe that it's okay
to give Federal workers
Christmas Day off
but it's offensive to say
'Merry Christmas'.-
Saying Merry Christmas isn't offensive. Shoving the the belief that he is the one and only son of some imaginary, scary god down the throats of everyone else who actually is able to think for themselves is very offensive...and stupid.
Ready to vote???-
LET'S GET IT ON!!!
"OLD, WHITE MAN VS. YOUNGER NOT-OLD WHITE MAN"
MAY THE BEST PERSON WIN...FOR AMERICA!!!!
PEACE ;-)>