There have been moments when I have liked Harry Reid. And I've always tried to understand how tough his job is with the thinnest of Senate majorities- it's hard work! So my heart has gone out to him and I've cheered on those occasions when he's done something unexpected, bold, and effective. As my memory is weak I can't remember what they were right now, but I distinctly recall that there were occasions when I thought, Bravo, Harry! Well done! Then there was the FISA bill, and, well, what can one say: a grand slam for Harry. Just when it looked like underling Congressional Democrats had obstructed the FISA bill, Harry, the leader, stepped up and created a teaching moment for us all. I'm not so sure I just like him anymore.
I couldn't help myself. I had to send Harry a letter when, thanks to his leadership in the Senate and to the superior wisdom of himself, Barack Obama, Joe Biden and other luminaries, the FISA bill passed. Although I have to confess I wasn't much in favor of it myself, I must also concede that I am merely no one. I count for nothing, and I must assume and submit to the wisdom of my betters who offer us their leadership. And so, i offered my heartfelt feelings to Senator Reid. I hate to get so sentimental, but the man just calls it up. Right? Don't you feel it? I want to emphasize that this was a real teaching moment, one that should illuminate for us all some open secrets about the nature of our government, which of course is the best in the world, or rather, in the history of the world. And so, because I just couldn't keep my feelings to myself, I wish to share with you my love letter to Harry Reid.
Hey Harry!
Thanks for the leadership on that pesky FISA thing! Wow! I didn't really care about my privacy anyway. I guess privacy protection will just have to be privatized, huh? Like that special fire-protection for those who can afford it.
Oh, and thanks for sending the message that it's okay to commit felonies as long as you're rich, powerful, important. And thanks, too, for demonstrating that the Congress is a pantywaist institution, a mere wart on the ass of the executive, and that it sees itself that way. Thanks for clearing that up.
At least by showing us that we live in a country that's a democracy in name only, you have helped us get past our denial and delusion and put us in a position to embrace the truth: that the Democratic Party, like the Republican Party, is a party of "priority citizens." the rich, the powerful, the well-connected. I mean really: they are by definition the most important people, aren't they? Of course they are! What a silly question! Why should people like George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, etc., or the AT&T, Verizon, and Comcast executives be bothered by silly "laws." Pish! Laws are made to be broken, right? I get it now. Now if only I can get Congress to give me amnesty for all the laws I'm getting ready to break, I'll be set. Oh, wait. I forgot for a second. That's only for your co-conspirators in the administration, at the telecoms, and on K Street. They're the ones who need protection from the laws because they're just too important to be called to account for their crimes. I understand it now: Laws are for suckers and weaklings, peons like me who can't afford the megabucks to buy impunity. "National security" or better, that delicious Nazi moniker "homeland security" - how appropriate that with this administration we have adopted all sorts of Nazi terminology, and not only terminology - is always the best rubric under which to deprive "the people" of their imaginary rights and to recognize the real rights of the priority citizens.
Dear Senator Reid, I long for the day when you are no longer the alleged "leader" of the Senate. You are a disgrace, a tragic weakling, a mouse at a time we needed a lion. And now you've facilitated gutting the Fourth Amendment. Hey! Congratulations. Sleep well.
I hope Harry got lots of love letters like mine. He needs to know how we feel. Even if he couldn't care less.