This essay stimulated by http://www.dailykos.com/... from Ivy regarding "the debate and vote of Kathleen Sebelius". I'm uncertain how to properly cite Ivy's diary, so please correct me if needed.
In my tempestuous youth, I did not always love -- or love well -- the men with whom I lay. And, despite precautions, I twice became pregnant and twice chose abortion. The third unplanned pregnancy resulted in the chosen birth of the person who was and is the most dear to me in the world, my now-nearing-thirty-year-old son. A later, planned, pregnancy ended in miscarriage and, although saddened at the loss then, I was ultimately grateful to have only one child to be rearing as a single parent.
I speak here of the two babies I did not allow to be born and of breaking the law, in those days, to do so. Each person who confronts this question must have her or his own story. This is only a bit of mine and only as accurate and truthful as I can make it.
Frightened, scared, panic stricken, guilty, angry, vulnerable, self-pitying, ignorant – all of these and more, was I then. And yet, still able to consciously weigh and measure a variety of alternatives and reach my decision to the best of my capabilities at the time. The men involved in the pregnancies, each for his own reasons, actively encouraged or passively agreed with my clandestinely enacted decision.
Unlike many young women in similar situations in those times, I was fortunate to receive excellent care from a respected physician. Through gritted teeth, I made uncomfortable peace with mySelf then, as I only wished I were somehow "better" and might have responsibly chosen to be a mother.
My journey of understanding and forgiveness has been long, but at my now-advanced age, I can extend love to all my babies, all my would-be children, and to their fathers ... as well as to all of my own fathers and mothers – biological and foster – and, ultimately, to myself.
What I have yet to work upon is the anger and outrage I feel toward those who would deny pregnant persons the right to determine which, of all options, is the best course of action for themselves and those whom they affect.
I want to resort to bumper sticker exhortation, simply telling them, "If you don’t believe in abortion, don’t have one." I know I cannot change their minds, those who would make decisions for us all using only their own standards. But with my voice and actions, perhaps I can help prevent them from getting their way.
I must keep reminding mySelf that we most elegantly fulfill our destiny as humans when we truly acknowledge all beings as worthy of respect.
Peace. -LinSea