Dear Mr Simpson
It is with sincere humility and a heart full of shame I offer you this sincere apology. Please hear me out.
I am so sorry for sucking too hard on the SS cow udder back when my husband died.
I was left with only a high school diploma and 20,000.00 in medical bills, and two small kids to raise on my own. The Social Security Survivors Benefits my children and I got did help us eat while I worked my way to an RN degree, but now I feel really bad about that. I could have taken on a third part time job along with my full course load, but as a lesser being, I just didn't have adequate motivation. So when I saw that udder full of free milk, I grabbed it. My head hangs in shame when I tell you we kept drinking from it till they both turned 18, so I could provide them with a home to live in, and all sort of other things we probably could have done without.
Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I did the same thing again when I ended up disabled at age 55 and couldn't work anymore because all those years of heavy lifting combined with a work related fall took my back out of commission for good. Now I see how wrong that was: I should have just "sucked it up" and kept working no matter how it hurt, or at least settled for a shelter or a park bench if I couldn't. But no, what did I do? Back on the udder I went, latching onto the SSDI one this time, sucking away again.
Then I went and got old on top of it all, so at age 62, I let go of the disability udder, only to latch onto the Old Age Benefits udder, and here I am, still sucking away at it for all I'm worth. Which isn't much, but now, thanks to you, I can see it's a lot more that I really ever deserved.
You see I must have been delusional all along to believe that I had earned, or that we deserved any of the milk from your Precious Cow. I just didn't know any better.
There's not much I can do about any of this now, except apologize profusely, and die as soon as I possibly can, so as to not take further advantage of sustenance I do not deserve. Thanks to you, I understand the error of my ways, and wish you well in finding ways to detach all the other lesser beings still attached to the bulging udder that rightfully belongs to you.
Sincerely,
a lesser being