Every now and again I see the very best of humanity. Love, selflessness, generosity, compassion.
And sometimes I see the very worst of humanity. Hatred, pride, bigotry, greed.
And sometimes I see the best and worst of humanity simultaneously in the same person. A righteous expression of hatred.
Everyone is entitled to their feelings and I am not trying to tell anyone how to live or what to feel. Please, I beg of you, do not assume that is what I am saying. But it is one thing to hate someone, it's another thing to want to hate, to cling to it so tightly that any suggestion that it's anything less than noble and right is seen as a threat.
Everyone is entitled to their feelings, but that doesn't make them healthy and it breaks my heart when I see someone celebrating their hatred.
I don't know why I'm writing this or what I hope to accomplish. I've said it for years, and I don't know why I keep saying it. I guess I hope that people may soften their hearts just long enough to realize that maybe hatred is universally corrosive and that being righteous is not the same as being right. It's a fool's hope.
And if experience is any judge, I'll have a barrage of people coming here to tell me what an awful person I am and outraged over all manner of things I have not said. I'm writing in English, as plainly as I can, but people still add their emotional baggage to what they read. Next thing you know it's me who's the bigot and the asshole and how do I fucking dare suggest that maybe we should want to be better than this.
I want to be better. I don't want to live my life judging people's worthiness to share the same space as me. I don't want to feel like forgiveness is only for those who are worthy or that I'm even qualified to judge who is worthy. I want to recognize that forgiveness is a gift I give to myself, that I am worthy of peace within.
I just wish...
I will leave off with an old Irish blessing:
May all who know you love you.
And if they do not love you, may God turn their hearts.
And if he does not turn their hearts may he turn their ankles,
so you know them by their limping.
(Disclaimer: I am not Christian or religious in any way and these statements are in no way an endorsement of religion or faith of any kind.)