30 years ago a woman who was an employee of mine shared with me the most profound words I ever heard. Those words have been my beacon ever since. They are as follows:
" Life is not a problem to be solved but an adventure to be experienced."
So the next chapter in this, my life's adventure begins.
This is adventure is not exactly what I had in mind for this stage of my life. I had just received a promotion to my current job back in December. I was completing the transitioning away from my previous job, the last strings of control dropping away from my fingers in just the past 2 weeks. Amen.
Then in February my daughter complained to me about me coughing. she said "Dad you better go see a doctor get it checked out just in case. Yes dear, when I get a chance." the following week her mother called from Arkansas (We having divorced in 2007 and she had moved back east for her work). Karen scolded me to go see a doctor just to be safe; "you sound like a smoker and you stopped smoking 9 years ago".
please continue below the funny looking paramecium for the rest of the story ..... using my bestest Paul Harvey voice
So on Tuesday March 06, 2012 I went in and saw my primary care physician. He listened, we talked, he listened to my lungs and said " lets get an X-Ray". So we did thankfully Kaiser is electronic now and so he said, just come back and we will look at it together. so by 4:20 PM we were looking together and he wanted me to get a CT-Scan, we both saw something in my left upper lung that did not belong there (key the scary music).
I hustled over to the hospital and got the CT done right away. Thinking to myself DO NOT procrastinate now. Wednesday morning Doc calls me around 8:30 and says that he would like for me to see a pulmonologist; that what the CT shows a mass that is over 3 cm in size in the Left Upper Lobe of my left lung (rhut rho scoobie this is getting REALLY Scary now). So that morning I am driving from my office and going to see a new doc 2 hours later. We go over the CT Scan together, he is concerned that the mass we both see on the CT Scan might be cancer. he wants to do a bronchoscopy. I said sure how soon can we get it done? during the course of our conversation I shared with the lung doc that I told the crews I am responsible for that "I went to the doctors and that despite rumors to the contrary I was not cold blooded and I did have a heart".
March 16th ended up being the soonest available date to do the bronchoscopy. So I got scoped on the 16th (nice english I know). Boy do I have a new worst tastes in the world for you!!!! Lidocaine. YEEEECH Nasty stuff that makes rot gut scotch taste good. But the Versid and Fentenyl IV was very fast and effective and no hang over either a very nice "snowing under" for me. laughs
Pathology took a few days and so my follow up was the following week. Went in on 15th (took my daughter) found out that path was inconclusive, found parts of squamous cells but insufficient cells with enough morphology the decide conclusively enough for the pathologist. Okay so now we know its likely Squamous cell carcinoma (its not small cell whew) but we need to do another scoping to find "good cells" to be conclusive. So back again the next day to scope this time with a cytologist in the room to confirm that the biopsy will suffice.
It did and we now know it is Moderately Differentiated Squamous Cell Carinoma of the lung. that the lung is the primary site. Fortunately, my doctor's are pretty smart fellas. They had me do a full set of labs - results are all within normal limits and a pulmonary function test also is normal, I have 100 % lung function. I also had a PET Scan done with radioactive glucose to find out extent of disease. We found out that the mass is 3x3.5x4 cm in dimensions it is still fully within the lung is encroaching on the upper lobe bronchus and has encapsulated the LUL pulmonary artery; that there are NO suspicious nodes either Hilar or Mediastinal. double whew No masses anywhere else in the body. A small question in the colon about whether we have scar tissue from previous polyp removal or a benign polyp (more procedures needed ugh).
So imaging and pathology are not so bad but not perfect either. its not small cell that is the first hurdle I needed to know and get past. That knowledge gives me hope, no nodes more hope, squamous cell? Well I would prefer a non-malignant mass but can't have everything. the size is not the best, I wish it was smaller but at least it seems to be treatable.
No complete picture yet of what we are facing but more information is coming in and providing a more focused picture. See the oncologist on Thursday April 5th, Colonoscopy is Friday April 6th and will see the thoracic surgeon on Monday April 9th.
So this medical train has fired up the engines of treatment, we are starting to build up some steam but we have not quite engaged the treatment wheels. We still have institutional inertia to overcome but soon we will have a plan of treatment.
My life will be changed for ever but it will also be an adventure too. I am likely to have at least the Left Upper Lobe removed and maybe the whole Left Lung.
Previously in my whole life I have needed only 3 stitches and those in my left upper eyelid. And the only body part (other than my teeth) x-rayed was my left foot.
Are we noticing a trend here? the left side of my body is always out front taking the insults of life. Maybe because I am left handed. laughs
To witness firsthand medical science in all its technological glory. I have already seen more doctors in the past month than in the previous 30 years (well it seems like it at least). I have been exposed to more X-rays in the past month than in the previous 10 years total (including dental X-rays).
Well, this is just a beginning entry. In the weeks and months to come more will be posted. As I come to grips with the enormity of the changes to come in my life. Not what I had planned but it is the adventure I have begun.
a couple of updates since I first wrote this as a draft. Its easier to just add the update than re-write the whole ending paragraphs. what can I say? shrugs
I saw my oncologist April 5th as scheduled I am clinically considered a Stage II Lung Cancer Dude now winks. On Monday April 16th I start Chemotherapy treatment. I will receive 3 cycles of Cisplatin-Gemzar then re-assess via PET Scan and more than likely schedule surgery.
Lets get this show on the road I can't wait to see what is around the bend! Oh wait its already moving whether I want it too or not. laughs