From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A Helpful Start
The Obamacare exchanges go live today. C&J combed through the media yesterday and found the following stories helpful:
Time: The Real Jesus (...and Why He Would Support Obamacare)
USA Today Twenty Things you Need to Know About Obamacare Stuffed Into A Two-Inch Infographic. Details A6.
Thomas Friedman: Why the Next Six Months Are the Most Crucial for Obamacare
Fox News: Obamacare and Benghazi: Connecting the Dots.
National Enquirer: Obamacare To Trigger Rapture---What Can You Take With You?
The Weekly Standard: Go Galt! For Real This Time! No Foolin'!
O: Oprah…Obamacare. Obamacare…Oprah.
Cosmopolitan: Please Your Man Every Time with Obamacare
Maxim: Please Your Woman Every Time with Obamacare
Chuck Todd: Fact Checking Right Wing Claims About Obamacare: Why It Should Never Be Done By Journalists
Better Homes & Gardens: Explore Your Obamacare Options From This Cuddly Breakfast Nook!
World Net Daily: Outrage---Obamacare Prevents Millions from Meeting God Sooner!
The Guardian: Leaked Snowden Documents Reveal Top Five Questions NSA Snoops Are Hearing Americans Ask Each Other About Obamacare
Wine Enthusiast: Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum---and the Five Fabulous Fall Reds That Go With Them
PolitiFact: Obamacare Exchanges Start October 1 = "Half True" Because It's Technically Not Called Obamacare
Aaaaand...
off we go!!!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Note: Today's forecast calls for Republican-fueled shit storms with a zero percent chance of sanity. High: why yes, these days you'd be crazy not to be.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Prater's Mill Country Fair in Dalton, Georgia: 11
Days 'til the Obamacare exchanges go into effect: : 0!!!!!
Average amount that individuals will receive in assistance to purchase plans on the Obamacare marketplace: $2,672
(Source: thisisobamacare.com)
Number to call to talk to an actual person about the ACA, including the exchanges: 1-800-318-2596
Percent of Maine businesses that have fewer than 10 employees and thus will not have to provide health insurance under Obamacare: 80%
Number of the three banks and two credit unions within 500 yards of our house that have been robbed recently: 3
Percent chance that all three robberies were at the banks, not the credit unions: 100%
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Under the guise of fairness, but too clever by half, the Republicans are about to let the Democrats off the hook for 2014, and in the process, allow time for the exchanges to sign-up enough people to ensure that Obamacare becomes an entrenched entitlement.
---rwiggens at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3…
Cool!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Leaf Jumping Tutorial.
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The tea party caucus is
always dressed for Halloween.
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CHEERS to October. Busy month ahead! Fall kicks into high gear for leaf-peepers and cider-lovers (but don’t bother driving to a National Park---Republicans shut 'em all down, including
Acadia in Maine); the Obamacare exchanges go live
right now; Barack and Michelle Obama celebrate their 21st anniversary Thursday; It's LGBT History Month and the 11th is Coming Out Day (ready to kick open that door,
Wyoming Senator John Barrasso?); we re-open the "Columbus was a hero/Columbus was a genocidal maniac" debate; full moon is on the 18th; United Nations Day is the 24th; Daylight Saving Time for European Union countries ends on the 31st; and a High Holy Day for gays (and, according to unsubstantiated rumors, small children)---Halloween---looms large. This year I'm dressing up as the scariest person I can think of: Ted Cruz with a Dr. Seuss book in his hand. Heads-up, pancreas---here comes another ten-pound bag of candy corn!
JEERS to the worst basketball team ever. And now, a dramatic re-enactment of what just happened in Congress with the Continuing resolution to fund the government...if Congress was on an NBA court:
Final score: 0
Senate: [Boppityboppityboppity bounce bounce bounce boppity boppity] Over to you, Boehner…catch!
House: [Splot.] Nah. We don’t like that ball. We want a red ball.
Senate: Fine. Here's a red ball. [Boppityboppityboppity bounce bounce bounce boppity boppity] Time's running out…catch!
House: [Splot.] Nah. We don’t like that ball, either. We want a green ball with sparkles. And doughnuts…and a new car…and you go stick your head in a toilet...and…
[Bzzzzzt…!!!]
Senate: That's the final buzzer, you idiot. We just lost the game.
House: I know. You suck.
If only it was only a game.
CHEERS (and blessings on y'alls camels) to James Earl Carter. Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy 89th birthday to #39, who's still fit as a fiddle and scrappy as ever. He was stubborn---and too much of a micromanager---during his White House years (plus the hostage crisis and canceling the Olympics didn't help him). But his post-presidency warrants every accolade we can throw his way---it's just astonishing what he's accomplished. And kudos for throwing the occasional jab at the right-wing freak show, as he did in his anger-tinged speech during the 50th anniversary of the 1963 March on Washington in August:
At the C&J open bar tonight: cold, sweaty cans of Billy Beer and keep 'em comin'.
JEERS to bigots with bullhorns. Fire up the jalopy, Pa! The preznit of World Net Daily is organizin' a rally and this time it ends with Obama becoming "Go" bama:
"The time has come to mass in Washington, D.C., on Nov. 19, and to engage in peaceful civil disobedience, Ghandi and Martin Luther King style, to finally force Obama to resign the presidency and leave office immediately---or else face the music for his recent conviction for election fraud and other crimes. As in 1776, the people must now take action to rid the nation of this new, far more evil tyrant, who makes King George III look like a Boy Scout."
If you can't make it to the event, you can feel the same effect of being there by gnawing on some lead-based paint chips and forgetting everything you know that's true.
CHEERS to getting alongness. On the heels of the historic phone call ("Whatcha doin'?" "Not much. You?" "Same.") between President Obama and Iran's new president whose name I can't remember comes this bit of coolness: the leaders of Pakistan and India did a grip-'n-grin over the weekend and exchanged a joint "Howdly doodly, neighbor!" Just in time, from the sound of it…
The meeting could also pave the way
for improved relations between Wikipedia
and Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan.
India and Pakistan have fought three wars over the disputed region of Kashmir. Tensions are currently high after a series of fatal cross-border clashes along the de facto Himalayan border led to the death of at least eight soldiers on both sides---plunging diplomatic relations to their lowest point in years. The stakes are high. Both countries have nuclear weapons and their large military formations train while keeping the other side in their gunsights.
Hence the caution on display during their first meeting. If all goes well, they'll meet again in three months to exchange phone numbers, friendship bracelets and chocolate sundaes.
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Five years ago in C&J: October 1, 2008
JEERS to hyper overhype on hyperdrive. The conventional wisdom was that the first Obama-McCain debate would attract 100 million viewers. The reality: 52 million tuned in...less than the first Kerry-Bush debate. Thus making the real winner of last Friday night's contest...high school football. Go team.
CHEERS to reviving the patient. Wall Street bounced back yesterday, with the Dow up nearly 500 points. Funny how that happens when Congress takes the day off.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to people who don’t suck. Every Friday our C&J poll asks, "Who won the week?" It has become such an extraordinary weekly polling event that Gallup, Pew, Rasmussen, Quinnipiac and PPP have all named commodes in their washrooms after it. The WWTW poll is a little reminder that all is not lost on the third planet from the sun. And right on schedule, the gold-star winners for the third quarter of 2013 are ready to take a collective bow. I admit I never expected to see a pope on the list, let alone twice. Either he's a real breath of fresh air, or you're just angling for a penthouse suite in the afterlife. The envelopes, please…
July 12 Malala Yousafzai, who knocked the stuffing out of the Taliban with her speech to the U.N. Youth Assembly. (P.S. Happy 16th birthday.)
July 19 Majority Leader Harry Reid and Senate Democrats, for making Republicans blink on their filibuster threat, paving the way for approval of (among others) CFPB head Richard Cordray and Labor Secretary Thomas Perez
July 26 Attorney General Eric Holder, who announced the DOJ will invoke Section 3 of the Voting Rights Act to target areas in Texas that discriminate against minority voters.
Each winner receives
a trophy filled with
Thunderbird Wine
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August 2 The Pope, for his remark on gays that produced the quote of the week: "Who am I to judge?"
August 9 Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who reversed his position from 'no' to 'Absofrickinglutely' on medical marijuana, and apologized for doing such crappy research the first time he looked into it
August 16 Judge Shira Scheindlin, who ruled that New York City's 'stop and frisk' law is unconstitutional
August 23 Antoinette Tuff, employee at Georgia's Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy, who talked a gunman who had entered the school into surrendering. (So much for the NRA's notion that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun)
August 30 (Tie) The fast-food and retail workers who went on strike all over the country Thursday for better wages and union rights…..and those who organized and took part in the 50th anniversary commemoration of the 8/28/63 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, including Presidents Carter, Clinton and Obama
September 6 The Walmart employees in 15 cities who walked out to protest for a living wage
September 13 President Obama (with an assist from John Kerry): gets Syria to wake up and smell the international chemical weapons ban treaty
September 20 Pope Francis, for insisting that the Catholic church needs to lay off its bizarre fixation on gays, abortion and contraception
September 27 President Obama: powerful speeches at Washington Navy Yard, U.N. and Prince George's Community College; talks ACA with Bill Clinton; speaks with Iran's president; crunches popcorn as GOP implodes.
Who will bring home the gold in the fourth quarter? If I had to predict, I'd say not John Boehner. Stay tuned!
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
If you heat up a cubic foot of Cheers and Jeers' shag carpet, you can harvest around two pints (one liter) of Bacardi.
---Extrreme Tech
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