Reince Priebus thinks people just need a little reminding about how awesome the Republican party was in the good ole days. In an interview conducted on Friday with Newsmax, he laments:
Republicans have “sort of lost our history,” says Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus, who is spearheading the RNC's Growth and Opportunity Project to deal with the problem.
And where there's loss, there's a need to rediscover...everything except the bad parts, of course.
All the Abraham Lincoln-related stuff is fine. Liberty, freedom, and the pursuit of happiness, in their theoretical forms, have also been approved for selective recollection.
Even if Republicans spend every waking moment actively trying to undermine those idealistic concepts in practice, or elect eight years of national catastrophe in the form of George Bush — no big deal — they can just relive the glory days of Reagan and pretend they aren't systematically destroying the country with their incessant intransigence. They can hire mouthpieces like Reince Priebus to provide the charismatic operational leadership necessary to bring about, once again, a revival of the Grand Ole Pretty things.
With a little help from Jesus, of course:
“We've got to drape our principles in grace, love, and respect, and that's certainly the calling of the New Testament and something I believe in and something I try to do every day in my life,” he tells Newsmax [...]
Now, I'm not a very religious person, but I can't imagine the Son of God would approve of how Republicans selectively apply His teachings, but anything's possible, I suppose.
So how are they actually going to help people get back in touch with their inner Republican?
“Our engagement is going to be the biggest engagement process we've ever gone through at the RNC in an off-year. We've already been hiring people, getting folks out in the communities, and we're going to be hiring folks from communities to work in those communities – paid help – across the country, telling a story of the Republican Party about quality and freedom and opportunity, something we haven’t done enough of lately.” [my emphasis]
Putting aside that “telling a story” Freudian slip, we surely can appreciate the fact they're creating some jobs, right? Paid
Propaganda Distribution Specialists deployed in every community. Job requirements: basic literacy. Prior 100% ideological agreement is helpful, but not required — once they start waving that cash around, there'll be no shortage of newly-inspired home-grown party representatives eager to help their
suckers neighbours DREAM BIG with the GOP.
“All people would agree that we've sort of lost our history in our party. We don’t tell people about it anymore. But we're going to start doing it.”
When Republicans “start doing it” anywhere other than heavily red districts, they'll likely be run-off by a mob of broom-wielding citizens who, hopefully with the help of engaged Democrats, will recall memories much different from those being hawked by these
Privatized Bullshit-Pushers who live down the street. If worst comes to worst, they can always placate their frustrated fellow constituents with a
Thanks W. bumper sticker.
Even Priebus seems to recognize the daunting task ahead of him, so he tempers expectations while insisting positive results will indeed be forthcoming:
“You can't carpet the world but you can control your own organization, and we're going to make a lot of people proud over the next year and a half as far as how big and how bold we're going to get at the RNC.” [my emphasis]
Since he didn't really elaborate much further on what Republican party history he wants to revisit, I've taken the liberty of compiling some talking points for him. Some are based on his own words, the rest being my helpful suggestions. Ready for immediate distribution to the “paid help” (important notes in parentheses):
● Freedom (as defined by the GOP)
● Liberty (from the shackles of personal choice)
● Prosperity (for you, future rich person!)
● Opportunity (race and gender-specific restrictions apply)
● American Flag (substitute Confederate, depending on region)
● Patriot (title conferred upon confirmation of GOP vote)
● God (as long as it's Jesus)
● Second Amendment (all the others are just fluff)
● Country (sorry, not accepting new members)
● Love (us and ours only)
● Respect (only people like us)
..........
Flag lapel pin not included.