My kids and I were out doing last minute preparations for the snowy, icy weather today. As usual, we were listening to Science Friday. That's when we heard the news. That Leonard Nimoy had shuffled off this earthly coil to what I hope is a sumptuous, spiritual reward for a generous, teaching- soul, who used every ounce of his being to exemplify what the world could be like, in the best ways possible.
As a kid who grew up in a very poor family, my parents worked all the time. So the television was my baby sitter. Sometimes this was not such a good thing. But I would say that the original Star Trek series, was the exception to that. The bright spot in a world of poverty, that is often accompanied by benign neglect.
Many people who had working poor for parents know what I am talking about. Latch-key kids, who did a lot more than just let themselves in the house after school. But to all those who lit the pilot lights, and had dinner on the table not just for themselves, but the whole family. Who did many of the chores, and helped raise siblings, and were compelled to figure out much of the world on their own. They existed in the absence of meaningful adult guidance much of the time.
So Leonard Nimoy as Mr Spock, and William Shatner as Captain Kirk, and the wonderful actors who played Scottie, Sulu, and O'Hura, and Bones--were sometimes my parents. They probably cringe when they hear this, because I imagine they have heard this often over the years. But imagine. I was poor, I lived in a very homogenous small town, with mostly southern "values" and it was this one show that sowed the seeds for what many might consider subversive thoughts in such a place.
Women and Men serving together as equals on a ship in space! And not just White ones, but many different races while still taking the time to imagine still more kinds of people in the far reaches of our cosmos. Star Trek fired the imagination in ways for me that I cannot always find words for. It was this fantasy that I had in my head, when I joined the service.
As a female child in this place, it was the character Mr Spock who kept my interest in science, when I felt rejected for science, due to my gender in school. I gave up on that in school, but at his station on the Enterprise, Science was still safe for me to explore as a real topic but also in my imagination. It was the character, Mr Spock that somehow gave me permission to imagine myself as a scientist in any capacity in a place where I was not welcome to do so in real life.
There are many values that I learned from his character and the show in general that I hold dear to this day. Some of them I had to grow into, because as a child, I lacked the ability to absorb these lessons with nuance. I lacked many a frame of reference. These were things that had to come to me over time, and yet the lessons lasted long enough that I could do just that. From my perspective as an adult and a parent, that to me is no small accomplishment.
I understand that Mr Nimoy felt trapped by that role. But it was because people loved the depth and interest that he brought to that character that spoke to the hearts and minds of so many in a way that was beyond magic. The world can be so cruel, and indifferent, and people often pretend at logic, and use indifference as an excuse to practice cruelty. The character, Mr Spock made you feel like logic was a cold glass of ice tea on a hot day, flavored with a fresh sprig of bruised mint to finish the flavor. It was refreshing and weirdly healing, to encounter even the possibility that logic could be used as something other than a tool to bludgeon.
It was a cooling salve on the burns, that reality and society, leave on our souls.
I have often thought that when we lost the last Star Trek series, that somehow America lost it's hope and Imagination. That this was a place where we collectively visualized a better future, cleaner technology, and a more egalitarian society.
Star Trek and Mr Spock introduced me to this notion that ambiguity and uncertainty are not bad. It's okay not to have all the answers. It's okay not to be sure. That sometimes it was the fact that you were unsure, that signified that your mind was open to the possibilities not only of wrongness, but of finding a better way to accomplish a goal.
When I imagine people I love from Star Trek, they are influences to me, that make me want to be a better person. I don't want the character to like me, I would want the actor who plays the character to like me. To see me as a person worthy of friendship. So I know sometimes this role was limited and painful, for someone so talented and versatile, but what he did for me was huge and we never even met. He gave me ideals to live up to. Really good ones too.
I did not become a Scientist, but I love science because of Leonard Nimoy through his role as Mr Spock. I was more adventurous because of his example, more curious, and eventually I grew to be more mindful too. It was also his example that helped me be more accepting of myself. I confess, I am most-unVulcan-like. But I did learn something about asking questions and problem solving from that character as well. He even sparked my interest in meditation. Something I do regularly now.
The kids and I are going to watch him on the original Star Trek Series now and discuss the episodes and their motifs in depth.
I am sorry that your work here is done sir, but only because I am selfish and want you to live forever and be a moral compass for us again.
May your existence be free from suffering Mr Nimoy. And to all the friends and family and fans out there, my deepest sympathies for your loss.