Here's the thing.
The people making the decisions on, for example, whether to have an entire diary load in order to see a reply when you click from your replies page, don't really participate in the site much.
Jump over the invisible line for more.
The decision makers have never spent a couple or few hours at a time commenting, replying, checking replies and replying and commenting some more like most of us.
How often do you see staff or tech support names in the threads? Never? Rarely? Except for elfling. Have any of them ever participated in a busy live blog?
Or, do they put up a diary and not even comment? Or, kos and tech may put up a diary, and then come back in awhile and post a few replies. Do they use the comments page to check for replies? Maybe not much, because they are only commenting a few times in one particular diary, so they check that diary.
The replies feature is just an example. This would apply to everything site wide.
They don't use the site. They have their jobs to do.
The Recommendation.
There should be a requirement that staff (and owner) have to participate a certain number of hours in a row each month or week to stay in tune with the place. And, not just in one diary.