I am going to cease commenting for a bit, most likely until next week. I can either deal with politics or Real Life, and right now Real Life is demanding precedence.
Before I go further, let me give you the backstory. Those of you who were here in 2014 know but the newer folk don't. I may seem new to some of you, but I have been here since 2003.
In 2008, my husband was starting clinicals for his nursing degree, which would have seen him graduate in June 2009. Then my father happened. He was losing his license after 3 accidents. My mother-in-law decided without consulting us that Dad had to come up to.live with us. We were living with her at the time, which meant we needed a place to.put him. He and MiL decided we needed to buy a house. When I tried to point out we couldn't afford a house-our income was too low for payments if/ when Dad died, they talked over my husband and me. Dad had moderate Alzheimer's and the next 18 months pretty much ruined our lives.
My husband had to quit school and could never afford to back. Dad died. His house sold for one third of what it was worth before the market collapsed. Husband couldn't get a job. Couldn't sell the house, and the bank refused to work with us. We ended up in bankruptcy and foreclosure. And living with MiL because no one will rent to someone with a bankruptcy on their record. She threw us out with a month's notice in 2015. We had lovely furniture we had bought over 7 years in Japan, but we lost that to the movers who told us we owed between 3 and 4 times the estimate ( they are being investigated by the feds for fraud and theft) which we could not afford, so they kept it.
We basically started over with what we carried in the trunk of the car or mailed up here: our clothes in 2 suitcases, our cats, photographs from my first marriage, a set of tarot cards, one reproduction of a Toledo Salamanca rapier, and the car we had bought from my inheritance. We slept on a series of air mattresses and the floor, ate on plates from the dollar, store and got screwed by the movers. Oh, and in ,2014, my husband had quintuple bypass with 2 blood clots one in his lung and pneumonia. Thank Goddess for Tricare. The bill was 200 grand. We owed only $200.
My husband DID finally get a job last January. We have a roof over our head and a landlord who works with us. We have slowly been replacing our possession. 2016 was a bed. Sleeping on the floor caused me major back issues it took 18 months with an osteopath to undo, so the bed was a necessity.2017 was a cheap TV and bureaus and an armoire, plus clothing. 2018 was a couch and chair, because friends gave us gorgeous marble-topped end and coffee tables ( they have small kids, and marble and toddlers do not mix; we were very grateful). This year we actually had Christmas presents-- first time since 2009. We were planning on replacing the dining room table and chairs (a gift from those same friends) because they are falling apart. That is not meant i the metaphorical sense, but in the literal. I have had 2 different chairs collapse underneath me and i landed hard on the floor. They are held together by glue and spit and prayers.
If you feel the need to lecture me on how we made bad decisions and deserve what happened to us---DON'T. You weren't there, and you haven't got a clue what we have been through, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, even the kind of person who would self-righteously tell us how it is all our fault. Because nobody deserves what happened to us.
Then last week, the car, a 2010 ,Camry, died. The local mechanic couldn't get it to start. It was the computer, he said. So off to dealership it bcc was towed. All the Toyota dealerships ( and several other brands) are owned by one family, and their rep barely gets 2 1/2 stars, so, like the Post Office before FedEx, they don't have to be nice. In fact, because they have a monopoly they are damned rude. They called us yesterday morning and told us we need a new engine to the tune of 5 grand. Well, we don't have 5 grand in the bank. (We were starting to.put money aside, and then our youngest cat got sick, the vet did all she could, but he dies, and was cremated. To the tune of $800, and a lot of tears-- we are still.crying over him. ).
I spent all damned day yesterday trying to get through to them, but finally my husband got through.They had lost power. And shortly after my husband called to tell me that, so did we.
New England winters are cold. They are also prone to wind storms. We had 50 mph winds yesterday. Walmart, where my husband works ( major employer in the area) lost power, and they had to throw out all the meat and cheese. It was an extremely bad storm. I sat there from 4:30 until my husband got home under two blankets trying not to freeze. We couldn't cook. We ate peanut butter sandwiches for dinner. It got down to 16 degrees or less last night. It was probably in the 30s in the apt. The building is 120 years old, built of painted brick with inch spaces between the floor boards and no plywood between them and the carpet, and if it has any insulation I would be surprised. Mr. Witch and I and the three cats went to bed under fuzzy sheets ( warmer than flannel) and 4 Berkshire faux fur and sheepskin blankets ( there was a Berkshire blanket outlet down the street so we stocked up at 1/4 the normal price, especially now that they are closing it ), so we kept warm enough.
It is now 5 pm. The house is finally warming enough to crawl out of bed. Between the income tax check and his pension on the 1st and pay on the 7th, we will be able to pay for the engine and will have a car again. His co-workers have been giving him rides to and from work. The landlord will get paid on the 7th and there is food in the fridge. We will survive. We will replace the table later rather than immediately. Keep.fingers crossed I don't have another chair collapse!
But with all the #$%& that has happened, I don't have a lot of patience for either stupidity or rudeness. I especially have no patience for people who, like Andorians, the little blue race with antennae from the original Star Trek, want to argue for the sake of arguing. This is primary season and there are lots of the latter here. I have been pushing for discussions to stay civil. It is possible to be passionate about your candidate, but still polite, avoiding name calling and,instead, attacking issues rather than personalities.
I believe it is important because only one person can win the primaries. That person has to convince the disappointed supporters of the losers as well as independents to rally around them. Obama was able to do that despite the hardcore PUMAs and he won. Hillary wasn't able to that or couldn 't and we lost. And yes, despite what some people have said to me here, the final candidate DOES have to convince disappointed Dems because NOBODY owns those votes. People who feel.taken for granted by their party stay home and don't vote.
There is a corollary to that. The candidates need to save their attacks for Trump, not each other. Mud slinging automatically loses my vote in the primary. They need to argue issues, not resort to personalities. If someone at a town hall or a questioner at a debate makes a statement about another candidate, they need to summon their inner John MC Cain and gently correct the person. Never a big McCain fan here, but in that moment I was genuinely proud of him.The DNC needs to not take sides as it did last time. And when the primaries are over, the losers need to do just that: lose gracefully rather than bitterly, and get behind the winner. They need to make it easier for their supporters to switch, and they need to so in a timely manner. Dragging it out will.make it harder. We can't afford to lose.
There will be bots and trolls. When we see them, ewe need to report them to the HELP folks here, and to Facebook and Twitter and other social media platforms. That means that if your crazy Uncle Bob sends you a forwarded email claiming Bernie had an affair with a Pomeranian or Amy K. is a former hooker or Elizabeth Warren believes she really is Pocahontas or Kamala runs a kiddy porn empire underneath a Domino's or Julian Castro works for Columbian drug lords-- reply nicely with lots of links and forward it to everyone on the damned list, preferably with a link the list of all of Trump's lies. It probably won 't change their minds, but maybe they'll stay home. A Trump voter staying home will help us win.
I am signing off now. Gotta turn the heat up because it is still bloody cold. I will drop by later, but after 11EST, I won't be back till next week. If I am to follow my own call for civility, I need to be calm and polite and right now I am too pissed off at the Universe to be able to practice what I preach. I know from experience that I get over things quicker if I am able to feel what I feel instead of pretending all is right with my world when it so patently isn't; luckily after 30 years of marriage, my husband understands this!
If you want to comment, feel free. But if you feel the urge to tell me self-righteously how we brought this on ourselves (we didn't) and how you would have handled it so.much better (you probably wouldn't) and how if I had so much nicer to MiL ( I tried but being called a Satanist is a tad hard to swallow), just don't. If you can't be kind, go fight with someone else in another diary. I just don't have the energy to fight back